A sorta fruitless kind of happy

My goodness gracious me!

I got the conditional offer to IMPERIAL! COLLEGE! LONDON!

And to get in! I need! to! fit! conditions! which! are! 3As! Maths! Chem! Physics! and A's in both maths modules! meaning A in Mechanics! and Pure Maths 3!

I! Need! To! Rock! A2! Oh! Please! Please! Please! Dont! Make! Me! Screw! Up! I! Knew! I! Shouldve! Decided! To! Resit! Physics! Why! LA! Did! I! Decide! Not! To! I'm! Not! Gonna! Get! Anywhere! With a! Bloody B!

And! To! Top! It! Off! I! Need! A! Sponsor! =( Who will sponsor me la!

Sorry! For! My! Spastic! Moment! I! Think! I! Need! To! Take! A! Few! Deep! Breaths! Now!

and i miss you all

Exam today was bearable, ok fine not to gloat la ok gee sarah get a life la macipiet you think you are so cool meh cant even get straight As la. *sudden gloom where the skies turn grey or even worse yellow while raining egg yolks and papaya juice*

Anyway, I have physics up next tomorrow and yep thats right folks, i am up and have not started studying a thing and it is hrmmm 10.40 in the night time and i am so effin screwed.. mamipoko cidangao!

mamipoko mamipoko mamipoko

But i can be saved because of my trusty nescafe! I've downed a can everyday of late and i can just picture my stomach to look like brown drainage water piping system hmmmm so euphemic.

Anyway, this is a pic of me eating my knee. Aint it interesting? Go view my jan 07 archive, and you will find such intriguing shots of me, cause that time I so thickfaced, look ugly times ten to the power of gatrillion also don't care.

Anyway joey what is the verdict? Do i look sexier than you eating your bottle picture or what! XD XD XD

And yes, us two combined=fame and fortune forever and i miss your quirky antics joey dear! More importantly, I'm happy to have a goodlooking friend like you cause you make me proud when im seen next to you WTF WTF. Kidding la! The point is you're very hensem lah! especially your recent photo.

Wakao mak engkau mohammad nenen bin pepet (HAHAHA POL XD i simply throw words in) damn hensem ok! I think coz your lips has this tension init that makes you look real masculine and strong while your eyes gleam with sensitivity. woot!

Most importantly, I miss garasu sama/grace cause she is just mine forever and btw congrats to lionel liew her errrrrrrrrrrrr close friend for winning prom king ok! (I swear grace is da bomb and could beat any china girl's ass in a jiffy just so everyone knows) *glares at everyone ferociously to force their agreement*

I miss you grace and i miss your broken promises a lot, cause I suddenly remembered how you always make broken promises XD You know how pinky promises work right? Like if a person makes a pinky promise but crosses her fingers/feet/toes, the promise is not counted right.

Well grace used to make promises and i always made sure she doesnt cross any body part but in the end she wouldn't come through with her promises and you know what's her excuse?

Her teeth are always crossed. LOL bloody lame but bloody genius at the same time! This was before she got retainers la and her teeth had very interesting structure XD

But she's really beautiful and here's a picture to prove how beautiful she is! RUI TSUBAKI anatawa beautiful ne! anata wa watashi no tomodachi desu ne!

Btw shes ru-i tsubaki, im reva teraki, belle is shea akira and joan is akira maiyuki. This was back in our lower secondary school years when we had a scrapbook of stories of our jap characters and i was the one with the spear who looked like avril lavigne.

LOL

Next time I will post some pics. I have a few in my notebook courtesy of grace's excellent anime drawings!

Babai fer now. And to all not mentioned in the post, I miss you all ok! Esp puak peeps! I always blog about different people in different posts don't think I forgot you okeh! Love you guys forever and ever.

MindGrind = LoveAbove

Today, I felt like I couldn't go on.

It hurt immensely and my mind was into it no matter how hard I tried to curb it.

I paraded around in my white oversized adidas shirt, told my housemates the memories behind the shirt with pride, went into my room after being faux giddy happy all day and took my hands from the sleeves into the shirt, wrapped myself around it and cried like a baby.

Cried and cried and cried.

I just didn't think it was real, that a person who's loved so much could hate.

Jion came to my rescue and invited me to mcd to study with pris, herng and teh.

Refusing to get out of the adidas shirt, I said no.

Sat there on my room chair drawing a picture of a puzzled heart with a missing center piece with rays of light, I then drew music notes which flowed through the mishaped center piece, piano notes to the song Sum41's 'With Me' and stopped in frustration because i realised i had forgotten them.

Giving up, I agreed to join my friends. I went to mcd, watched one tree hill, switched locations to try to create a conducive study environment but studied nothing. Went outside to draw the lilies by the flower bed instead in purple pen.

And now I am home, at 1.50 in the morning, contemplating sleeping but worrying about my studies too much to sleep because exam is tomorrow, and also lying on this bed with a heavy heart for things left unsettled.

Whatever it is i am feeling, i know i should feel the greater ones, the feelings that my friends have helped me feel, those of acceptance, love, forgiveness and sacrifice.

Thank you for everything that I am feeling and please God, please help me sleep for just an hour or two and help me wake up to smile at my books.

I know I can do this. Because I just can, as I always have.

This time I look to see what's between the lines -Korn (1995)

One thing I've learnt from being inferior is how I do not like the feeling of it and wish it would be over.

Certain people tell me I exude confidence but there is a lot more fear from where that came from.

The truth is, it all starts with yourself because if you start elsewhere, you are depending on the world to tell you how great you are, and no matter how you cling onto those compliments, you will always fall back to how little you feel when you realise you are not that great after all.

You will always fail yourself and see the worst in yourself when you are in actual fact capable of so much more.

Compliments/comments/how people describe you change from time to time and they will never last forever or help you see the truth in yourself. A simple example, a person can call you beautiful and another can call you ugly. And there should be no reason to be mad at that person who called you ugly because maybe you are ugly in her eyes and everybody has the right to feel what they want to.

You also shouldn't feel down about it because that person's opinion varied from that of the one that called you beautiful and there is no right or wrong when it comes to opinions. All in all, be sure of the impacts your words may make on others and try to hold your tongue when it itches with desire to talk trash about someone.

Cause even if you feel like a person is the ugliest person in the world, you must remember that the person has feelings too and that he or she should know that your own opinion should not matter to that person to the extent that you have to say it, because he or she could be fed with a better opinion of someone else and should not have to hurt even if that person hurt you first.

And the diversity in the world is the reason why we all have thoughts that differ, but yet we are all connected because we are all living in a same community/country/world. And so we take the good the world can offer, and let go of the bad. In the same way, we give.

I have lost myself time and time again because of an inferiority complex, because of not knowing who i am, because of wanting to be the best, because of searching for the answers.

Amid it all, I have found myself happy so many times and sad so many times and it is ok to hurt once in a while because it is a part of life and it has to been gone through no matter how great we are. Getting over it is the best way to overcome it, and we need to find the strength in ourselves to do so. God is always there for those who believe in Him and He is there to be our guide.

I hope I have given some hope to those out there who are suffering from feeling low about themselves or struggling to find meaning to life.

Experiences of pain and misunderstanding will always affect our feelings and our actions thereafter. But remember to always hold on no matter what, because at the end of the day, your principles are those that matter most as you go on with life. And holding on to them in struggles makes you hundred times a better person than anyone who tries to gain confidence/comfort from principles that aren't theirs.

Much love to anyone out there who feel they can relate and I wish you all the best in every endeavour.

Lady Axe

I dreamt a tragedy.

There was a man in a car, sorting out the myriad variety of potted plants, loving nature and whistling to acknowledge his love for the breezy day.

Ms Lady Axe tiptoed from behind him, tapped his back for wanting him to see her, grabbed a gardening spade and....

...plunged it into his scalp. A deep hard one. He screamed a mighty sound of pain as I watched as the blood oozed and oozed and oozed......

...... and I ran. and ms lady axe saw my escapade, chased me till my breaths were short and brief, till my legs were weak and soggy.

I ran and ran and ran, hearing the whirls of her brisk footsteps and cries of desire to victimise my scalp.

I ran into my dad's room, slammed the door shut. Panting with barely enough strength, I shouted calling for mum to ensure she'd be safe. Dad spoke words in a rush, 'mum's out there somewhere.'

I cringed and thought of my brothers in the other room and panic arose in me, tears eked up my throat for fear of their safety.

Alas, I awoke.

DAMN. This was worse than my dream of sharks and snakes diving in the swimming pool.

Seriously, I think I am emotionally challenged.

WTH LA STOP TORTURING ME WITH THESE DREAMS LA!

And btw the ms lady axe was the woman in skeleton key, the horror movie. I think mummy was right that the horror movies seep into your subconscious mind. Imma never watch horror movies again ya hear me! Never!

Hmmm this is a random pic of my old self, my sly face with my huge BK spidey shirt. How ya like me now huh! Spidermien hahaha.. I miss my long hair la. Hair faster grow la faster faster faster. anyone think I should get a fringe again? My fringe is currently growing out.

Oh yes btw, my family in miri just moved into the new house! I won't be a pujut baby no more! This is quite exciting~ Che, you heard it here 1st! Whee! When we balik next time, we won't step into our old room anymore. But it's fine though, cause it's good to have some changes.

Whee~ Can't wait to see how the new house turned out.

Grand End

I handed up my computing project yesterday! anyone wanna high 5 me/watch me tepuk sendiri? The entire project consisted of 3 books. The 1st book is the thickest book of all time ever to exist in this dingy world. It was so thick that the biggest comb binding took up 3 quarters of it, and I had to settle for the book tape thingie. TOLD YOU IT WAS DICTIONARY-LIKE.

2nd book is the thickness of a typical novel and the 3rd book is the thickness of a magazine. While I was printing out all the papers, I felt really uber stupid and I kept thinking I overdid it, cause I was using up all the store's papers and I even used up the printer's ink and the store guy had to keep stacking up the papers and look at me as though I sprouted 10 gazillion feet outta my head.

Plus at 1st i didn't know how to operate the fast laserjet-ish printer and kept squealing whenever the printer ran outta paper and shoved more into it resulting to it getting all jammed up and whiney at me. damn scary ok. I think printers are like totally like my biggest fear 0.0 like totally O.O

and i spent a grand total of rm70 for printing. wth can buy 7 cute cheap tops ar. can buy one mini skirt plus a pair of flipflops ar. wth wth wth. angry angry angry.

but i feel better cause pris told me it contributes 40% for finals, and all along i thought it was 30%. hmmm.

anyway to all fellow vb programmers, let me leave you with a warning, and if you choose not to heed it, you are choosing self-destruction. NEVER mess with europian and american date formats dd/mm/yyyy, mm/dd/yyyy, yyyy/mm/dd, especially when linking VB with ms access. Because by doing so, your formats are switched, deeming your dates invalid and by trying to rectify it, you are so nicely inviting an INFERNO into your inner recesses! and it aint nice! no it aint!

why la so confused between american and europian, choose malaysian format la. hbhb/bulanbulan/thnthnthnthn. aiie so cantik belaka, bersih cekap amanah... XD apaka

so word of advice, remember to always choose a topic of project where storing dates into the database does not link with outputting dates on VB forms. You have been duly warned! VB programmers, roll out! (AUTOBOTS, ROLL OUT! transformer style heheh)

anyway i'm having trials now, and I just screwed up mechanics so everybody laugh at sarah jane y'all for she's havin a sucky time. woohoo woohoo.

Apologies

Would like to take this opportunity to convey my apologies to those that may have been offended by my style of blogging.

I am saying this with regard to the extent of my language or certain terms that I may have used which conflict with the perception / the religious belief of others.

I have spoken on religion once before, and i do believe it is a personal choice for every individual.

I also do believe that one should pay utmost respect to another religion, their God/gods as well as their practices.

Unfortunately, I have been a travesty to this and have not been living up to my principles.

The term "Oh my God" is disallowed in christianity for times other than prayer(though sadly, not always practised) for in the 1st commandment it states, thou shall not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain, whereby, the name of God should not be exclaimed upon discovering something disastrous or something shocking/sarcastic.

This term is used widely among people, and I have gotten so used to it, it has become a second nature to my ears and i hear it time and time again.

So i kinda stopped telling the whole wide world not to say it (HAHAHA) but once again, it is a free world and everyone may do as they please.

However, i am aware that my blog is a public blog and i do not wish to pose any insults or remarks regarding other gods because it is ethically incorrect, even in the event that it may have been unintentional.

basically the 'oh my buddha' term came about when i was with my 1st bf daniel, and we we are both christians. and since 'oh my god' was disallowed, we used 'oh my buddha' instead (please dont follow our sesat example ok!) we were err young and silly.

and once in a blue moon, people throw in the occasional "F" word in between and we all know that the word in itself is profane and should not be used to describe a person, what more to say a god.

Therefore, i am deeply sorry for not realising the importance of staying true to my principles and the impact which may follow the act of not doing so.

The recent of my terms have been altered. We shall stick to the convential OMG shall we? :D it is a simple abbreviation which does not touch on sensitive aspects and can be perceived through different means, those of which suits your likings and your beliefs. (for eg, it could mean oh my gosh or oh my goat) =P

Thank you to those who have helped me realise this. I do look forward to greater self-betterment in the future, through other aspects as well.

And I do appreciate your comments and respect them.

:)

Lizard Eyes

I am scarred for life.

T.T

I am scarred forever and ever and ever till the last person on earth dies and the sun explodes to devour every single planet up to the last speck of dust.

I was with Vinci and was helping her scoop up some rubbish into the large plastic bag. I then so happily grabbed this box thingie, wanting to throw it away.

Sarah: Lalala throw throw throw *gaily singing as though the world would never end*

Vinci: No wait! Don't throw that box!

Sarah: Why not! *big smile*

Vinci: It's the cockroach trap!

Sarah: COOL! how does it work?! *big smile + glances so inquisitively into the box*

Vinci: There are lizards in there.

Sarah: *gazes at 2 rubbery lizards so intently 3 inches from my face* COOL! They're fake right! Look at their eyeballs,damn cool la.

Vinci: They're fake?

Sarah: Cool huh. I didn't know they use fake lizards to attract cockroaches! *so proud of my realisation*

Vinci: Err theyre not fake. Theyre trapped.

Sarah: WHAT! *drops box in 1 milisecond* OH MY HOLY SHIT! *rushes to the sink to scrub hands*

Vinci: HAHAHA

OMG DAMN GROSS OK THOSE EYEBALLS AND THE WAY THOSE LIZARDS WERE ALL CURLED UP!

OMG WHY THE HELL AM I SO STUPID SOMETIMES!

I am officially lizard-phobic, I think i might die if I ever see one again.

T.T

Seriously, what is with me and lizards la!

I remember I was once sitting on this balcony in school, swinging my legs so joyfully and then I felt the palm tree leaves graze upon my head.

So happily enjoying the sensation la, damn so sweet those palm trees.

Then suddenly, it got too much and I was starting to feel ticklish so I used my hand to push the leaves away from my head and OMG A LIZARD FELL FROM MY HEAD ONTO MY PINAFORE.

I screamed with a frequency higher than ultrafrequency > 20khz

Seriously, I think lizards are trying to communicate with me O.O

Maybe I was a damn hot lizard in my past life with the sexiest curly body ever, slippery-est texture ever, bulgiest eyes ever, pinkiest tongue/longest tail ever.

Yucks. Seriously, yucks.

What you do

Prom is a coming!!

After finals that is, on the 12 June, and I am infamously dateless. T.T

I should just date myself the same way I talk to myself. *crawls into hole and yaks away*

HAHA well i'll be going with friends and it would be a night not to forget hey! (cause it will mark the end of my deadly KL life) hahaha nolah, as much as I despise living here, there are certain things/people of great value to me.

Shakirah has bought her dreamy dress as there's a boutique nearby and there is a 60% discount at the moment. It's a purple satin gown with a single white sash at the waistline and frills towards the bottom of her dress. Pretty~

We were all so excited about dresses so we went on a search hunt at nearby boutiques (all this was done during our short interval of breaks ok, i need a break from my computing project too ok!)

Unfortunately, there aren't many boutiques around so I spent time trying on random unprom-like dresses shakirah/pris throw at me. For fun :)

This is a cute piece, moderately high waist which shakirah and pris both love but I feel isn't fitting because it's not really flattering.

Shakirah loved this on me but it was a little big. Forgive my sakai face.

There was another kinky dress which looked real slutty but after looking at it on me for a longer time, it kinda looked like a hot and shiny but high class las vegas dress. But i accidentally deleted the pic so i guess the forces of nature must think its slutty.

This lime green piece below is loved most by shakirah. She loves it more than the purple one she bought. It has layers of lace lines around it and it is too big as well around the waist area. I wasn't that pleased with the colour though. Maybe I just don't really dig pastel colours and the like. I really want a sexy red dress =D

But I guess the back is to die for. Pris ranked the dress 8 out of 10 solely for back bow. Forgive my black bra.

Anyway, that is all for trials are next week y'all and I'm still drowning in my computing project. I will probably go out again to search for proper prom dresses after I screw up my trials and am relaxing under the sunshine of holiday. WHEE!

Btw I found this boutique with absolutely EVERYTHING i love! Everything is SO CUTE AND PRETTY and there's like 50% discount for tops and 40% for bottoms.

Terence!!! You must take me there for our next shopping spree! Please sale, don't end after trials. or i will die T.T




My attempt on anime while the lecturer drones on and on all dayyy.

Ok, I guess I should return to my never ending project now *cries a sea*.

I met my lecturer today and he told me parts I need to improve on. I gotta get going and do it well big time for it contributes a grand total of 30% for my finals.

After our discussion, my lecturer shared with me the challenges of his life, whilst I shared mine with him like I've always done. Life is just elusive and can be defined as "lived well" through infinite terms.

Shocking near-death experiences have befalled him in the past and he talked to me as though he now lives a bonus life when he was supposed to be gone.

Loved ones have been present and gone just like that, to a place never to return.

All he ever wants these days is to live a good and decent life, fulfilling, respectable and happy. Well I hope I could've been a part of granting his wish.

Because he has truly inspired me and when the fait accompli finally arrives, he will be remembered, always.

Thank you sir for a life-changing gift.

The Pink Vibrating Bag

Today,

I faced a Ms Grouch of Utter Horror day. Ms Grouch of Utter Horror being, me. *blush*

I get so cuckoo recently that I tend to feel my pink hilly bag vibrate in computing class which leads to it dropping on the floor with a thud and shakirah turning to me in her cuteness to inform, "Sarah, your bag has dropped."

And I'd be so puzzled because my handphone is in my pocket and there is no possible reason why my bag should vibrate.

This is tremendously weird. Maybe it's been possessed by the PinkSpiritOfPinkMagic. *dreamy eyes*

Or maybe there is a tribe of breeding roaches/rats in there.

YIKES! *ducks*

I had a hard night last night in bed pondering about the things that make me, me and the things that make them well, them.

Am i good enough for my likings? Sometimes I feel like my character swallows my capabilities before I have the chance to utilise them.

And due to my grouchiness, I ended up under my be-happy-sarah-why-dont-you-just-be-happy sheets again today trying to nap it all away but lo and behold nothing ever works when I am Ms Grouch Woman of Utter Horror.

So I prompted myself to get up.

Because Ms Grouch Woman of Utter Horror has got a life to live.

Yes she does, and she will be mighty well at that.

*triumphant song of trumpets bellows*

D:

Today, i finished 133 pages of code comments. *near death face*

BOW TO ME! ! ! !

Now i need to finish up my user documentation (about 50 pages)

and my comprehensive test plan (150 pages) *blood splatters*

and then i'msrlgjslijkzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Premonition

I am really stressed right now I am heaving as though mosquitoes surrounded the world in abundance and took up human air.

8 more pages of coding comments/annotations to do.

This is killer.

If you're wondering what this is, it's explanation for every single coding line you write and it is made of everything mean and nasty.

And in one page of coding, there are like 50 lines. So you do the math.

Alongside this, I have my trial exams in a week and 2 days time and I have not studied a single thing.

I am so going to fail this time. This is the end of me.

Also, I need to start applying for scholarships with my AS results and the process is very stringent to me because I need to submit documents and what not. Plus the possibility of me getting any scholarship is so low it hits the negatives (because I got a B). knnmcb.

And this makes me feel all the worse because if I spend time applying and stressing over interviews, I'm just gonna get fucked in the face when the rejection letter sails over, making swift papercuts on my face. knnmcb.

Funny how in life, it seems that we have time for the silly things. Making relationships better, loving people better. And yet there is no time for doing the things that are required of us. Like being the best student in the whole wide world including outer space and secluded habitats.

I hate this fact.

I can't wait till I have kids and stay home, try new recipes, go shopping, get manicures and sleep late.

Because even if wanted more out of life, careerwise, my deficiency would get the better of me.

Now now sj, thou shall not think through such pejorative terms. thou art perfectly competent.

I WISH LA!

I went to my friend Jion's place and wore his shirt+camwhored when he wasn't looking. Valiantz is some group he belongs to or something. Deepest apologies to all Valiantz out there for I am truly not a Valiantz, I am a Cowardz/Chickenz lol. I just thought the hoodie was cool. Do not harbour undying wrath for my wretched soul.

Damn i look so fugly. (Nvmla, feel like such a failure already might as well go the whole way).

But i promise I will redeem this picture one day with a prettier one. Once I'm done mourning under my sheets.

And yes, Jion stole the trolley.

oh molly, won't you mollify me

I am damn fucking tired of looking at codings for this project, i think my eyeballs are gonna bulge out of their sockets and secrete unstoppable pus.

Fucking annotations/code comments, killing me softly with their lullaby.

I have this weird gait of shuffling around like a mad person now, it is so dysfunctional it is not even funny anymore!!

ARGH THE HATE FOR THIS CONUNDRUM!

I just spilt some coke onto my thighs after my HATE exclamation which consequently led me to jump up colossaly because my yellow pillow was so nicely situated under my buttcheeks. Unfortunately, the coke had already seeped into its fabric.

I hate how things are always just a little too late.

viper

YES!

The cheeky guard of myplace is out of sight! I think he got sacked.

I'm not being mean okay, those stares he throws at me/other girls give me goosebumps stage4.

so horny as though he wants to tear all your clothes off. FOR REAL.

And don't look at me with that knowing look as though I INITIATED IT with my eyes or my grin ok. and don't call me a flirt (i get this a lot..promiscuous also got.)

*mutters curse words under breath*

Because I DID NOT. in fact i never responded to his smiles until the fateful day when i was walking next to ridima and she smiled to him.

I thought it was an innocent gesture from one Nepalese to the next. Like how indian mamak stalls give their indian customers free discount and cheat innocent chinese girls off their money. No wonder segregation exists!

But ridima is the sweetest girl ever so don't you go pointing fingers at her ok. The guard totally cheated smiles off us and from that day onwards..

..i felt like hiding in a sack while walking past the guardhouse.

like the blue sack i wore in form1 when i was doing this dance called 'food food food' with grace, joan, belle and sharon.

but that wont really do much good cause instead of wanting to tear your clothes off, he will want to tear your SACK off. Plus it's easier cause it's so loose.

see there really is no solution to pervertism.

So i shall say good riddance perv! *points third finger* hahahahahaha

and btw my title for this post is an anagram for pervi~ haha bet your IQ didn't think of that!

Fester now ye narrow mindsets

I skipped chem practical session today, 2 HOURS =S

It's not really beneficial for me larrr cause A2 doesn't have practical tests anymore. So i was thinking of coming home to selfstudy.

But I ended up having bubble tea with shuwen. Not beneficial at all!

And to think i pay 10K to come to Taylors. SWEAT chin chin.

But nevermindla, friend to friend bonding time is quite beneficial also right *self comforts* a friend in need is a friend indeed right *frantic shifting of eyeballs*

And on the way back home i found this bookmark lying on the road and it read "live with an open heart".

thus it shall be my fengshui message today *gong banged once*

i am truly grateful that life has taught me greater things other than how to be a good student/mulia human being.

I start to be less meticulous about miniscule things, like failing to score straight A's or failing to be like say top in every test mark i get.

or panicking when I feel dumber than others, or contemplating suicide when my plans go haywire and things aren't going according to how i've so neatly written them in my mind.

When i was in primary school, my highest overall average mark in my report card was 99% and yet that wasn't enough for me (not to brag here ok hahahahaha)

But now i see that there is more to life...

...which explains my academic downturn hahahah =(

okla im probably like 1 meter drowned in my inadequacies now, but i don't really mind. Academic results are not what define a person.

Religion/race/status/lifestyle/bimboness/nerdness/wrongturns/number of deeds or regrets are not what define a person.

Everyone should be given the benefit of the doubt for whichever aspect people might find missing in them.

Because when people concentrate so hard on whatever is missing in others, they tend to forget what is already there.

And sometimes what's there is greater than any possible thing that's missing. It may not make up for what's missing, but it, in itself is a form of inexplicable greatness.

Do i make sense?

Ponder on my fengshui message ok =)

I sarahjaneunicechiachennee officially pass down my fengshui message to all of you,

"Live with an open heart."

*gong banged the 2nd time*

and 3rd, 4th, 5th, 6th, 7th, 8th for good luck.

lol i am not a superstitious human being, i just have a secret gong fetish(omg it's not a secret anymore) !! D:

oh and btw HAPPY WORLD KIDNEY DAY!

Thank you kidneys for functioning well, i'm so loving you uhuh uhuh!

*reaches inside of me and pats kidneys* ew this sounds so wrong =/

may i be gollum today?

I did not have a good night last night *says in hiccups*

I do not want to talk about it.

I'm just typing it out to keep track of how often the emo side of my pastlife reincarnates.

I slept at 6.30 am....

... after bawling my heart out on my buddha forsaken bed and thinking if i was possessed *stoned*

But of course i wasn't. i was just possessed into thinking i was possessed. it's allllll in the mind baby.

i woke up at 11am, had killer mcd where i cussed at my double cheese burger and slurped angrily at my coke, and went back to sleep in the afternoon, and i only woke up again for dinner.

I felt like puking my gut out at dinner. together with all my pukeable sadness.

And yes, i skipped college today.

Whatever happened to the goodness perpetuated in me?!? *shifting pupils*

but shuwen said we didnt learn much today *pats self on the head for being strategic*

I'm so happy for my eyes have captured the look of gollum today, maybe if i try hard enough i will turn into sauron the huge red uni-eye.

=/

ShopperStopper

Title sez it ALL.

I was stopped from shopping today.

Because my main aim wasssssssssss......

to hunt for a pencil case.

YOU KNOW WHY?

Because, sarah jane so cleverly wrote a check list for jackie before he left to melbourne and included every single stationary alive on this earth including outer space and secluded habitats i tell you! that list was da bomb, da bombest evar, more bomb than any list i ever made even for myself!

But!

jackie did not utilise it. WHY you might ask?

cause he said the list was too long =.=

This coming from someone who loves reading wikipedia endlessly.

And thus, this resulted into him going to melbourne and forgetting to bring along any form of stationary.

haih but its oklah jackie i forgive you lah even though you wasted my sweat and exuberance grrrrrrrrrr... and so since his bday just passed, i was gona get him a pencil case with stationary init see i am so kind, bow to me!

Anyway, I did go on a hunt today and dragged terence along with me because he's really nice and wont pull a face to accompany me.

We searched high and low, and lo and behold there was nothing that really caught my eye. none in pyramid so please dont ever ever ever go there if you want to find a pencilcase(for guys)

But we did go have a nice dinner at Canton-i. the place where people say the wantanmin damn yummy can die one XD

Terence and a reflection of mua!

this is the signature wantanmin which terence got and i wanted!! but i couldn't have i because it has prawn init. SOBS YOU KNOW WHY I CANT HAVE IT?


actually i can't ever have prawn for my skin has this awful reaction to it, but i usually don't care cause nothing will stop me evarrr rawrr.. but i really have to resist it this time, you know why anot?!

cause my surgery wound bled the other day. and it had pus =( and if it gets infected, i need to get cut up again and i don't want it anymore! i hate waking up in the middle of the night and taking painkillers which make me feel weak and my hands shake from the strong effect.

makes me feel like i have parkinsons =/


and the pills make me have this flatucence problem, which is also like parkinson's as parkinson's patients have loose bowel release. SWEAT.



so i had this instead. japanese stewed pork wantan noodle in soup. sorry ah, tak halal. oh btw, im starting to eat pork again lolol after refusing for a while. XD ahh pol grace chriss are you proud of me!

but i didnt die so my food wasn't THAT nice. meh. and i don't eat pork fat or any fat for that matter.


and we shared this mango+sago+pomelo dessert thing. this one really yummy! except the pomelo damn bitter, worse than the bitterness of life LOL. And so fattening i think i need 999 girdles from now on.

after giving up on jackie's pencil case, we went to guardian instead to find me some makeup remover wipes and cetaphil for my lousy KP skin.



the dress i wore wasn't that long. it's stretchable you know, like can pull it and cover my legs. lolol. i used the camomile bodyshop makeup remover before but i hate it cause it stings, so i'm gona try simple face wipes and see.



this is a self-shot.



this is another self shot.


this is another self-shot, eh salah not self-shot because harry is in it. harry my baby!!! look at it! too fat it can't even sit up! ^.^ kawaii desu ne!

harry: douzu yoroshiku. *rolls over* ^.^

Anyway after that pathetic pharmaceutical trip, it was 10pm and all the shops were closed so i couldn't do any shopping. =*( and i saw this half cut army(green splotchy) shoe at dr cardin and i love it!!!

I know the army concept is kinda LAME-O with a capital L-A-M-E-O but you have to see this one ok! it's really cute omg i think i'm in love!

It's 10billion miles away from today's fashion but i don't care about fashion la! if i follow fashion so insistently, where do i get my flamboyance/spunk? i am my OWN inspiration.

eh but it's 50bucks so i must find a duplicate of it for 30. i know i can i know i can.

and sorry jack. I guess it's free pens for you in melb. for now at least. (serves you right muahahahaha) and i told you already! borrow daryll's specs case or use some lame-o tape case for a temporary substitute till i have time to go out again, don't all guys do this?!

Airport runway no more

HEY Y'ALL GUESS WHAT DAY IT IS TODAY!

It's IWD!

No, not IntraWuterineDevice

No, not IWeepDay

It's INTERNATIONAL WOMEN'S DAY =D

A souce jubilantly states :

IWD is a global day celebrating the economic, political and social achievements of women past, present and future yada yada yada

Ok ok, women are supposed to be proud and proud and nothing but proud of how they've scurried up there to the realms of manness, bathing in the glory only penes(plural of penis) have so succulently hogged for the past years.

Well hog no more ye meager beings! (no offence)

Indeed the time hath come where we in our womenly greatness step up and have it all! breathtaking beauty! bountiful bossoms! beautiful babies! budding buttocks! and err blossoming business/beatified biddings.

Cheers to the ladies of the puak, the ladies i know, and more importantly to me =)

As of today, I shall attempt to spurt into C cup and nothing will stand in my way! =.=" (i don't see how this is possible since I hate papaya with everything in me)

Anyhoo, since it's women's day, I'd like to share all the womanly things i'd like to have.

new blue denim mini

Chunky wedges! When i told chriss i wanted chunky wedges, he said so innocently, 'lets go to KFC.' HAHAHA

My current obsession!!!! TIGI BEDHEAD brunette goddess(shampoo/conditioner). I cant really decide which I want more. That gorgeous pair of NIKE SHOES i saw or this aromatic chocolatey bedhead product.

Btw if youre thinking of getting me the Nike, i forgot the model. I just know it's pink and purple with grey velvety middle part please please please if you get it for me i will love you more than i love mushrooms by the field!

What is your obsession? Tag me/Comment! [Strictly for women only]

(note: since its IWD, your obsession must have nothing to do with men, and erm lesbianism is not prohibited because it does not involve men unless the girl is actually a man who is err a sissy who got boob implants whom you think is a girl cause he's so pretty)

why la am i talking so much crap! XD