Charlotte

Humanity.

It was only a matter of seconds before the blurry digits formed a figure of desolation, like a guardian in dashing scurry pacing to rescue a child.

Yet, when glanced through from the outside, that desolation dissipates as though hope had been dashed hours or even moments before tragedy.

This place where nothingness unites like tiny brown pegs on a washing line, has, and so it seems, washed away dirty, unwanted stains of pretentious strength set up from the first block of lego at the point its feet conjoins with the surface of cold and fortifying unfamiliarity.

Linger, it speaks, while the grey steel snaps, clinking onto a sturdy foundation so diligently stacked in forming that raft ever floating to an adventure embarked in chasing the unknown.

What is it really that takes all our hope away.

Do we truly, believe in this life?

Post Exam Nails

Hello! after exams i went out to watch "love and other drugs" with kaykay! omg anne hathaway.. super duper sexy :S i guess they were right when they said she once did porn :S don't ask me for details :S

Moving on, i got new nail polish!

This time it's orange! lol. i have no idea why my taste was so unconventional on the day, i just fell in love with orange right away(by right away i mean in less than 30minutes lol) looks like a papaya colour (even though i hate papaya.) I was tempted to paint the spots black so they'd look like papaya seeds LOL but my black polish isn't opaque enough.

painted my toe nails too because i am so free ^^

in this picture i'm clutching my teddy bear's paw LOL to match the white. fingernails look less pastel because the colour oxidises into a brighter shade of orange. toenail picture was taken right after i painted them and fingernail picture taken the next day

different lighting. i know the edges of my polish aren't perfect at the side of my nails but i'm too lazy to use a Q tip, they'll come off eventually in the shower

another pic with a nice red background and gold rays. from my pillow ^^ my nails are significantly shorter than they usually are because i cut them all off before my exams. coz i didn't want my sharp nails digging into my flesh when rushing for time to finish off longgg essays. like 2500 words per essay ok and i had to write 3 essays so they were 7500 words altogether :p

anyway i prefer cute nails compared to long cackly zh'nged ones because those look like witches' nails lol. cackly, is that even a word? lol i dunno but long nails sound cackly or maybe witches just laugh cackly. watevs lol. anyway remember girlies to paint your nails when you're free!!! ;) it's fun!

ok gonna watch gossip girl now hehehehehehe bb!~

Verdict

I've finished my exams!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! So happy to da max *sobs*

verdict : passable! (i reckon. shall notify if otherwise)

:)))))

So happy!!! thank you all for your prayers. God is my light and my help. If you wanna keep praying lol, please pray for my baby. he's not done yet and his exams are tougher because he's in 2nd year (which is the year i'm supposed to be in HAH!)

I think he's also relieved that i'm done with exams because he needs a lot of effort and time to take care of me whenever i get emo/can't sleep/panic attack/cannot focus/hands and feet start to get cold/feel grumpy/cry etc.

but he is the best la! i always tell him God will bless him because truthfully, i think he is really a good person.

Now if you'll excuse me, i need to..

get rid of all my UGLY pimples! and pig out on marshmallows! ^^ don't feel like eating lunch at all, i don't know but i feel so sick of food now. must be because i feel so sick everytime i munch when i'm stressed but i just can't control it because i only seem to focus when i munch. i'm sure this is normal for everybody.

no need to eat lunch today la! good diet. i'll just have some cookies.

ok well i feel so much happier this year compared to last year because this year, i did give a shit :) although probably not my optimum shit but it's comparitively optimum. besides, i'm new at this law thing so you really can't judge me if i have trouble reading like i dunno 10gazillion pages of a book talking about the same thing concerning judgments of random people who think too much.

but i guess i do love law. law law law. it's flexible. it has no black and white. it's interesting. it teaches you about all sorts of cases. rape, racism, debt, paedophilia, homosexuality, politics. i wouldn't say i have an ongoing avid interest in this yet but having AN interest is a start.

thank you God for bringing me upon this path. ;]

though i do kind of miss math, but still phobic :S can't believe i did so well in alevels (and bloody got into imperial) and then came to uni and realised i super hate the sciences. wtf is this. so typically asian hahahaha. if i was even in imperial now i'll probably die MAX. look at matt's 2nd year work already want to heave like an asthmatic patient.

k after my beauty session i guess i will hit the sack for a couple of long hours :) YAY! no more sleep restriction no more alarm clocks!

I have holiday for a week before semester rebegins and i have another chance to yet optimise myself and my full potential. but before then, i am a happy sarahjane and i will totally be prettier (skinnier, less pimples, more sleep, good health, redye my hair roots) by the end of this week!

but first.... *activate facebook!*

xxxxxx

SarahJane the stripeless zebra

I am going psycho over exams. Exams in 1 day.

1 DAY

zomgoatwtfbbqchickenandpigs!

I am only going to aim for a pass. for, a, pass. who better to aim for a pass than me considering the circumstances.

Please include me in your prayers. TQ i love you i will always be thankful to you lol

bye~

My favourite cobain

Was walking on the streets of Arndale one day when i stumbled upon an old man completely immersed within the notes he strung on his guitar.

His head was moving in a motion only cobain himself would approve. So much heart and soul for the art of music, with his guitar case opened and laid out for donations.

My favourite noise of late has taken form in the chatters of the peoples in a cafe accompanied by soft melodies of music and the scent of coffee beans wafting in the atmosphere.

I remember a time when i was such a people-hater that chatters used to irk me while i drowned into the midst of rounds and bouts of attempted happiness.

As of the day i discovered mr cobain junior, i found a new favourite. A new favourite noise which to me was set apart.

Old man on guitar, it is my sincere hope that the shimmer of my 1 pound coin in your guitar case similarly sets apart from the other bronzed pieces of 1 pence aplenty.

See you and i, we have one very common similarity.

And this similarity embodies around the fact of life that in any life whatsoever, not every day will be a good one. Not every day would portray fulfillment, happiness and joy.

It is my wish that with my donation you would buy yourself a glass of beer to keep you warm for a night, just as you have kept me warm with your music for all but a split second.

Pot of Luck

Another entry about christmas potluck, this time with different friends ^^

How lucky am i! all the good food.

This beats my christmas last year! I spent it last year sick with fever, going to church alone, dragging myself out of bed in the early and cold morning sigh

Can you believe i didn't even go boxing day shopping last year? I didn't even buy a single item lol. so bitter. This time i snagged some zara and jane norman items. jane norman lol, not really high end but better than nothing! :p

this potluck was with matt's friends from kl. i knew some of them from taylor's. tell you something, i knew lots of matt's friends/classmates but somehow i didn't know him!! one of matt's best friends was in my very own class LOL named matthew too lol

one of matt's classmates stayed in my friend's house! another of his classmate liked my 2nd best friend! another of his classmate was my ex housemate!

small small small world

anyway my 2nd best friend was from miri. i knew her since we were 4? lol. and she moved to kl (which most of miri people do anyway lol) and we didn't keep in touch for a long long long time. all i had left of her was a nice little card she made which said "i love you" LOL

then right, when i went to taylor's, the weirdest thing happened!!! i was in the hall during orientation week and was thinking of her randomly, thinking if i'd ever meet her in kl, and tadaa, i turned to my right to do my normal people watching and lo and behold, it was her in her purple off shoulder top and long curly hair. sorry i sound a bit stalkerish but omg she looked just like her!!

i stalked her more and soon enough we realised it was really each other.

sigh

moving onnnnnn

the food for the night. you can see zee ching's yummy portobello mushrooms from here. other food included fried rice, spaghetti, cauliflower soup, mash potato, roast chicken, char siu, and get this.. ying made a special dessert called popcorn cake!

very interesting wan! it's like popcorn stuck together melted with marshmallow. quite yummy haha

then we played drinking games, as usual. ring of fire. with vodka and ribena

;)

matt so fast already kaput lol

shaun you wana throw your food at me isit lol

joshua doing his poses as required in the game

again lol

us playing

group pic

group pic!!!

ditto!

haha check me out tiptoe-ing and peace signing!

i was at it for quite sometime lol. look at matt's expression XD

jingwoay and i same sweeping hair gesture :p

group photo!!

baby a little drunk. his eyes turn red just like this

and i also met ALEX!! from miri!!! who moved to kl!! lol he was in my high school in junior high :D

matt sez alex looks like my brother mark. hmm i guess he kind of does?

i love mark. when he was a little baby, i used to go cuddle next to him before i went to sleep. i used to whisper nice things into his ear and tell him how much i love him AWWW

hehehe i guess you always love to pamper your younger siblings

oh btw i look younger in the pic with alex than in the pic with mark right. why ar? is it because of my short hair ? lol

anyway was fun hanging with friends and luckily i didn't talk so much during the drinking game because people who talk usually slip and do something against the rules of the game and need to drink a lot

lol but i did get the last A card though which required me to down the HUGE cup of vodka in the middle. but matt helped me drink half lol

in actual fact i hate alcohol la, it's just nice watching people get loose and stuff coz it makes the atmosphere really fun lol.

i don't make a habit of drinking nor do i turn to it in times of distress lol. i just drink it for social reasons like clubbing pubbing etc and for formalities, like graduation dinner champagnes and free sherry in hotels lol

kthxbye need to clean my room now :p

Photogenic vs photogenuine

i can't believe i'm saying this (actually i can lol) but i really really miss facebook.

SOBSS SOBSSSS

I deactivated it because i know i spend too much time stalking people. but tell you a secret, i activated it just now to play scrabble lol teehee

honestly studying law is really hard for me la SIGH because the only way i really feel secure is if i memorise everything but from the workload it is clear that it is way impossible to do so.

and i've never ever written a law essay in an exam before so how will i know how to organise it, allocate time, be smart, or whatever. EMO!

i don't know what i'm gonna do about exams la seriously. i'm just reading the damn books right now but if i forget everything when i'm in the exam hall i will seriously KO ok.

K.O!

GATHER YOURSELF SARAH JANE. COMPOSE YOURSELF.

Did i tell you i can't sleep at night. i lie in bed for like 6 hours ok. i go to bed at like 3am and fall asleep at 9.30 or something. sigh

enough of this sad and emo shit

i met joan again at trafford centre! we had a nice time shopping and eating. we also watched The Tourist! it was really nice. instead of the normal sexy kick ass angelina jolie, this movie shows her talking, mostly. but captivating speech. things that keep you wondering. matt came along, so in total he's met belle and joan. two down 12 to go ahahaahahahahahaah. anyway it was good spending time with her. she's off to singapore for a shopping spree after this! so niceeee to have long holidays. i also wanna travel during my summer holidays!

i was thinking travel around semenanjung because i can't believe i've never been to penang, malacca, all the islands, not even port dickson! patutkah saya mempunyai kewarganegaraan malaysia? saya adalah disgrace kepada negara tumpah darahku sehingga bm saya pun sudah nak luput lol

a pic of me looking like i don't know what. kind of interesting that's all. even though i look like i'm bald or something, but i pinned up my fringe okkkk

this is probably the best imitation of how i look like in real life. you know how some photos just don't look like you at all. can be uglier can be prettier, but not a correct measure of you? lol

well this photo does me justice because it looks like me as per when i look myself in the mirror.

fugly roots coming out. matt promised to help me redye after exams.damn stupid pimples popping too! argh

btw i am not the photogenic type. most of my photos damn ugly wan like shit only. i know this because sometimes when i camwhore i look at the pic and look in the mirror and wtf, why so different one. sigh

it's so unfair that some people are so photogenic but in real life they look just normal. being photogenic is good because not only do you fool people around you who have your facebook, you also fool yourself into thinking you are damn pretty and that makes you super confident lol

look at me now relating confidence to looks

sigh joey would be so proud of me honestly. he insists that babies stare longer at beautiful people. hahahahahaah

but i guess it's a known fact.

good looks get you a step higher in life.

trust me, i've seen it. doesn't matter if your personality is like shit, or if you are really shy and a loner, in the end, your looks will get everyone talking to you.

iz true!

and you can easily get a job as a model or work in a fashion line or something. not that i'm saying models are not smart or interesting lar, lol it's just an easy way into work. besides, models who are too interesting will probably get fired lol because models don't have a say..

whereas real ugly people like us probably get credited for having a say, provided it's constructive.

nonetheless i'm happy i'm not too pretty or not too ugly.

who am i kidding. i wish i was prettier.

thanks

bye

Secret Santa

I told you guys i had some pre-drafted entries so tadaa!! this dates all the way back to christmas :) heheheh

and to think tseyui and caro used to praise me for always updating on time in the past :p

these are loohzhen and my pics, so credits to her for her amazing new camera. it's really cool ok. you can use a remote control sensor thing to snap a picture. so awesome for camwhores LIKE ME! omg! lol

anyway this entry is about christmas potluck dinner!!! with my chemical engineering friends and some of their new friends.

as usual, i did not cook anything but i brought snacks! two big packets of thai sweet chilli sensation keropok NYAMNYAMNYAM, 1 haribo colla bottle candy, 1 haribo gummy bear candy and a tube of pringles.

if any of you there were wondering where they were lol, i guess you didn't eat them because everyone was so full from the food overload, so me and matt took it back hahahahah lol. also i think someone put it on the floor or something in a plastic bag so everyone forgot about it :S

this is happy face turkey!! made by matt and jake

another turkey drumstick!!

chicken wings made by parva (DELICIOUS), wedges (made by i dunno who) and pork made by jake!

coleslaw, cheese cake and pigs in blanket!

cheese tart

krispy kreme donuts!!! meh, i like jco better. JCO FOREVER!

from left to right : sarah teng (the name i would have in the future if i were to marry exbf1 LOL), fangfang, qian, wenzhe. do you remember wenzhe? from my london trip!

lishan aka santa face, lishan's friend and careena. lishan has gone back to sydney to continue her studies, byebye lishan all the best!

matt and jake

peihau in purple! purposely drink lah you lol don't want me to take your pic ar hahaha

yitlin, sarah teng, seira anne, qian, fangfang

as you can see there were 3 sarahs altogether and everytime someone called the other sarahs i'd whip my head to that direction thinking it was me =.="

yingying, caro, sherene, loohlooh :)

matt and i

with parva

HEHEHE seira is funny like that :p

group pic!! with some of the people i left out just now. chia khuan and tseyui

group pic with PRESENTS!!

we played secret santa!! i'm sure you know what that is, no need for me to explain lah hor

and guess what!!! i was matt's secret santa!!

and he was mine!!! destiny or what!! honestly, we casted lots and we both got each other's names :)

and to make things worse (or better lol), we both got each other the EXACT SAME CHRISTMAS CARD... which we both bought at different stores!

destiny indeed lol

love this pic

my favourite pic of the night, because i love parva

she has a beautiful heart :)

Ok i will post my presents from matt another day! and the christmas card too, lol, let you see. and we both wrote a corny line at the same section of the card lol

ok well i know this is backdated, but i hope you all got tons of christmas presents! and i hope you spent it well with all your friends/loved ones!

and that you remembered Jesus on Christmas, the provider of all good things.

Amen.

mwaks.

i feel like ending all my posts with mwaks these days, wtf is wrong with me?

PS: I also did secret santa with my law coursemates YAY and i got a fairy necklace :))))))) thanks natasha!