Joy to my world!

I am so proud for putting my foot down.

Step aside! Sarah jane is back! huahuahua!

This is so random but i finally gathered courage to do something i've been yearning to do but have refrained because of what they wanted and not what i wanted.

From now on, i call the dibs on my life.

Next target : be more decisive.

With versatile opinions but great discernment in strong decisiveness, one shall go a long way.

Sorry you probably don't get anything but feel free to pop the champagne to share my joy *GLEE*

I love all my readers, thank you for being the people i can incessantly chatter to during such happy moments! You guys are the virtual best!

Michael's 8th!

Happy Belated 8th Birthday Mike ! :D

do you see the sock he's wearing? he sprained his ankle. Long story.

Ultramannnnnnnnnnn!

Different lighting

Birthday boy and tons of presents!

i find this so incredibly cute!

Blow candles!

cut the cake!

mom and dad

hahaha mommy looks mysterious

i like how everyone looks unprepared XD

i look fugly in this pic but i put it up because it's a family photo.. sigh the things i do for my family lol

open presents!

dad and sis bought him bionicles, i bought him a shaker (he's in the mechanical-pencils-are-so-cool phase), mom bought him a pair of altar server shoes HAHA so predictable XD

i have no idea what provoked that horrendous facial expression of mine

and again ahaha

finally some decency lol

eating the cake

went to see the band recently. hmm no comment really, apart from, please make sure you tune your brass instruments properly or your long notes are going to suffer. and please take turns in your breathing properly or your long notes are going to sound brief, empty and detached. all the best.

***

i have gotten a job! Am starting in july after i get back from KL. Awesome. :)

Damnation

In incomprehension I lay in this indecision whilst the world around me evolves. Forceful desires surge in me while I dream for a release. An explosion, where my body and mind would just tear apart once and for all, never needing to fight for intactness ever again.

Whilst the forcefulness pushes to no avail I wander around to the back of my mind yearning for a decent shutdown where I could dream signs and symbols to continue my life in my understanding consciousness. But no, they would simply refuse to grant my fatigue some solid brick I could cling onto while the storm and hail ferociously charge to tackle the weakness of my being.

***

I wrote this when i was in my course, sometime in March. I think it is safe to say engineering ruined my life LOL. Yea yea i know what you're gonna say, you're gonna say that with my attitude everything is in the ruins HAHA (this is how sensitive i have become! i now can detect the most susceptible thing on your mind without you needing to say it)

I didn't wanna post this up because honestly, it was not a pretty sight or memory. And come on, it is pretty damn scary ok, even when i read this now i get the chills brr...

But i just saw a sad status post of my friend on fb :( and i feel he can relate. Well friend, whatever it is, be grateful you were stronger than i was.

I wish you all the best.

Every single day, i find my mood fluctuating so frequently like the swing of a tiny pendulum ball. But i'm getting there. A place of normalcy and routine and the ability to be stable for a longer period of time. And i no longer get continuous nightmares anymore :) I can feel my health returning, my appetite and my courage to speak and not to hold things in.

I sound like a drug addict don't i HAHAHA. But really, you don't wanna know how it's been like. And really, i've never taken unprescribed drugs HAHAHA

Friend, i pray for your recovery. I pray you will never need to plunge this low and that you will in your own time, find happiness. I wish you resilience, joy, and the ability to forget the past. It's now time for you to create a new present you can call the past in 10 years time, which you can proudly recall to be the strongest moment in your life.

Like matt once said and i quote, "no one said it's easy dear" unquote. But for you, friend, you might want to erase the "dear" hahahaha and remember the rest. It's always better to fight than to let it take over you. Be happy you can feel sadness, it's better than feeling nothing at all.

:)

In the meantime, i shall NOT let a sad entry written in the past lure me back to those days. I'm better now. I have a new chance. I am reborn LOL

I really do sound like a drug addict =/ it's scaring me lol

License to testify

I have FINALLY PASSED MY DRIVING EXAM after ages of prolonging WHEEEEE WHEEE YAHOOO HURRAHHHH ^

:D

Mind you, i have never actually failed before, but i had to have many things postponed because of terrible timing :S

I advise all 17 year olds to take their exam when they are actually 17 like early in the year or midway through the year. PLEASE! JUST TAKE IT AND GET IT OVER WITH because you never know where you're going to further your studies or how long the holidays are for.

I listened to the law talk in form 5, passed my law test at the end of form 5, went off to kl for college, and when i came back TADAA my law test was expired. So i had to redo the WHOLE THING AGAIN! including the LONG talk! yes, trust the malaysian system to allow you to stay in oblivion without contacting you. So i had to pay the entire thing all over again. After i passed the second time, i went to listen to L2B engine.

After that, i went for driving lessons. I was all set for the driving test just before i was going to go off to UK. But NO SIREE, they just had to have a SUDDEN holiday and cancel all the dates for tests WITHOUT planning and WITHOUT mentioning it to all the instructors before they set the dates for their students.

And that meant that after i came back from the uk after half a year, i had to DO DRIVING LESSONS AGAIN to refresh my memory and FINALLY pass the entire test.

I am just so glad actually that it is over because it has just been way.too.long and ive seen the same road over and over i might just build a new phobia =/

I WOULD be happier though if i would've driven in the car when it was my turn yesterday but NO SIREE, one dude had to overtake my spot and jump into the car first, all the while looking into my eyes of fury and obviously ignoring it. Sigh why do such people still exist in the world, seriously.

But it's ok. He is forgiven lol. When he returned i gave him a smile to tell him i was ok with it because i didn't want his rudeness tampering with my focus lol. Besides, i guess he was more reckless so he finished the route faster than i did, so whatever.

I will be getting my license very soon :D yahoo!

Nothing much on my side. I snipped off the split-ends at the ends of my hair. And dad bought me that prada bag from china. Let's just hope it's authentic considering it's from china.It has the real leather smell though.

Just to emphasize once again to all form5 readers, DO get your license ASAP, this da jiejie is a living victim of horrid timing and you don't ever want to be like me. Also also also, when the test car comes with your number on it, make sure you jump in it asap and not look around waiting for things to happen, or someone WILL uncannily take your spot.

And be nice to the JPJ person in the car. If possible, talk to him about football (after all it is the world cup season) and talk all about rooney and manchester united (if you are studying in manchester) but if he supports liverpool, go on gushing about how you think liverpool is awesome but do stop blabbering in the event you realise you might be on the wrong route.

Not that i was or anything.. false alarm heheh.

Works of the heart

Like i mentioned before, i decided to spend my time in miri devoting my life to help those in need of love and care lol

Actually, the opportunity just came up and i thought i would be a monster not to have some kindness. After all, i would know how it's like living a life of unfairness and meanness (to a certain extent) HEHE

Sis is in this organisation NEXUS under Shell and they organised this trip to the handicapped centre PDK / Pibakat.

I think it's because they had a whole bunch of $$ allocated for charity so why not go ahead and use it right ?:D So kind. They bought a playing set thing (i'm not sure what it's called. from what i hear it sounds like "baci" ball) and they ordered catering for lunch. They also bought everyone some presents

ooh like santa claus :D

I remember when i was a little girl in Holland, i was freaking scared to death of santa. I remember crying over dad's shoulder when he came to my house T_T but the next year, all went well because at this christmas party, all the kids would sit on santa's lap and he would give them presents!

And i got.. a pretty pretty ballerina musical box! It had music like any normal musical box and when you opened the top cover there were mirrors and little ballerina figurines :):):) and when you wind the handle for the music to start playing, you can place the figurines on the mirror platform and they would naturally twirl and twirl until the music was done.

Sigh. So magical to the max. *fazed*

Anyway, the first victim of my "oh-so-cute-exclamation" syndrome was this little boy. He has a slight condition of down-syndrome. He had his shades on, how cool is he yo!

The kids there are not all physically handicapped. Some of them have mental conditions or specific syndromes. But they are lovable! And loving:) Sad to say, many of their guardians are single parents (moms). Boo to all cheating lame dads who abandon their wife and kid. You aint got no balls you idiot! GRRR

This is BoyBoy. He made such a good impression! When i first arrived, i saw him sweeping the sand so patiently. But that's not what made the good impression! After a while, he started holding the broom like a baton and twirled it! AWESOME YO! So creative!

I love him!

This is grace and emily. I think emily is autistic.

Me and emily. I love her! She's so jolly and sweet!

This is sis with PinPin and his mommy. He is a very intelligent boy but he is intellectually slow.

Cute little crafts made by them

The organiser giving the opening speech

A couple of them playing "baci"

This is Rong Qiang. He has down-syndrome. He is very cute!

Colouring session

This is DongDong. She is so lovable and i can still remember the exact tone she calls "jiejie" :):)

grace and DongDong

Lovely DongDong and i

Rong Qiang colouring again

My new beau ;) hahahahahahha he was quite cheeky! lol! when he wanted to pee, he asked me to unbutton his pants. I was quite reluctant but i thought maybe he needs help, so i asked one of the employees if i should do it and she said "NO! he can do it himself!"

wahlau cheeky orhhhhhhhhh luckily i didn't succumb to his demands lol

musical chairs. I LOVE that girl making a face at the camera. I didn't get her name but she can pose really really well.

I used to hate musical chairs as a little girl. I used to lose on purpose before the chairs got too little so i wouldn't be the subject of attention or big-fat-butting LOL. I was always small as a child. I still can wear my KIKO shorts i used to wear in primary 6 wtf

Look at her pose! She's a natural :)

My gangstah face

She took this photo of me :) So smart

Grace and Rong Qiang

Pass the parcel. If anyone got the parcel, they'd have to sing and dance. They are so genuine and nice about this game! When i was younger, i used to throw the parcel asap with full force.

Sigh i sound like such a "bajio" kid. "bajio" is a sarawak term for scared-y cat lol

Anyway there was a kid who danced SO WELL omg, he can like breakdance a little. I took a video but i can't seem to upload it =/

Sis and her fav. PinPin.. he looks like shin chan HEHE

He asked me several questions! Like when we were about to eat, he said they shouldn't pour the food out or it will spill. Then he asked me why we can't eat food that has spilled on the floor. And why animals can. And he said we must take the food on our plates carefully. Such a sweetie.

everyone here are good friends :)

He won the "baci" game!

Look at his winning pose!

Dong dong placed 3rd in the colouring competition!

Grace and i were the ones who helped DongDong with her colouring! YAHOOOO we are winners lol. Her picture of Tweety was very creative and that's why she won even though her tweety isn't yellow!

This dude won first price for colouring.

:)

More pics!

Rong Qiang loves attention haha

some of them even made handicrafts like these baskets which i tried to pretend was a songkok haha

magician hat!

tall chef hat?

oversized. they are supposed to be baskets anyway XD

they like the peace sign v(' ')v

My favourite BoyBoy and i :)

I love kids and i wish them all the best growing up. I hope hope hope that their parents (or single moms in most cases) have invested for their future so they could stay living till God calls them back to Him. Much much love to them all ♥