Azure

The eyes greeted with reflections of a very distinct, singular form of creation were opened to believe the euphemist nature of what consisted of the atmosphere and what lay deep in the core.

These passageways to groveling, trampled on vastly, turn all snivels into quiet. The darkened, azure sheet surrounding physicality connects in a single electrocution with how it truly shows itself, in exact manner, void, devoid of life ergo the dragged motion in poignant travels.

In the same way these lids open, breaking the surface of sleep. Time and days grow old as feelings corruptible and fickle torches time in a future yet undiscovered.

It is, but phenomenal through perseverance, albeit completely questionable of the worthiness it possesses. To gray it idly converts, grasping choice into delusion, peace into pure solitude.

Dumb Dumber Dumberer

I just did the self test online, which is just preparatory exercise which doesn't count but is merely just in anticipation for the real thing on friday. I was sleepy and made so many careless mistakes. And just to make my record look nicer, i decided to copy down all the answers and redo it all correctly on the 2nd submission so that i get clean slate XD

And then right, after i copied and submit, dammit all wrong. Y'know why! Cause the second test values for the questions changed, which means all the answers were different. And i was oblivious to this!

Guhreat made my record even uglier cause obviously first test answers aren't compatible to that of the 2nd's.

To make things slightly better i did a third round wtf wtf wtf. Damn kau sleepy almost drooled with saliva pressure 100000psi ! Didnt get full marks also cause i was damn sleepy la 2.54 am in the morning la please.

But at least it looks like i redeemed myself.

This is just another of the many examples of how pathetic i am. I am so meticulous! So full of details! *cough* control *cough* freakkkkk

Like who gives a flying eff about self tests which don't count right!

I do *lips quiver* I really hope they take all the attempts away after this test is over so i don't have to stare at the lousy 2nd attempt which is truthfully dumber than me. XD But alas for someone to have triggered such dumbness which was not in that person in the first place is truly dumberest!

Sigh time for a chill pill. Time for plushie toy hug time.

GOODNIGHT!

Doggie says goodnight ;)

Excel you make me not excel Pt II

Sigh, i got 42point something % for excel.

Bad times, bad times.

I calculated one in my head but as it turns out i memorised the wrong formula. Well sarahjane! There is a reason machines are now made to replace human intervention!

Sigh. From straight A student, to A2 student, to B student and now to 42point something% student. What a grand descent, i love myself so greatly now, lets jump on the bed and have a slumber party!

But honestly, any hands-on task for me is pretty much bad. I shall NOT dwell on it for there are greater things in life! LIKE what i am having for dinner...hmmmm but since that is hands-on too i might just spill it and end up with 42point something % of food left on my plate T_____T

Anyway you know who always says the phrase bad times, bad times? my PBL group mate, adam found. I think things are gradually improving in my group and you know how!

Cause one day i saw him in this slipknot shirt and TADAA everything was ok again. He actually got to see them live masked! zomg! I would probably feel very scared lah but omg! So yea that was like an eyeopener that we possibly have something in common despite him being one of the smartest and me being one of the dumbest, because slipknot brings people together! :D

paparoach came the other day to the student union. Tons of great artists coming, even marilyn manson XD

now if only i had the cash for entry fees.

and if only i had better marks for excel.

SIGHSIGHSIGH

And someone bloody took my malaysian society card. Its been recorded that its been gone O.O before i even collected it. Why la do you wanna be me, you want my crap excel marks isit!

Today john ade-ojo from london pat my head, pinched my cheeks and called me cute XD hehehehehehhehe

maybe thats why. XD XD XD *self comfort mode on*

PS: sorry veronica! i totally forgot to go find you! I think the excel test messed with my brain too much. Next time you come let me know :)

Borderless World

Just got back from my excel test!

Sigh, it was ok. Didn't expect it to be like that. No handing up of excel sheet needed. Just need to fill in the answers. Reminded me of Japan monbukagakoshi scholarship test. No marks for working. Just marks for answer.

Which pretty much means if you make one teenie lil mistake then baby byebyebye *byebye!(echo)* <---BackStreetBoys ;P

hahaha which also meant i relied more on my brain rather than the software. Which is always good right! Lazylah want to draw excel, all that fuss for 2 or 3 lame answers.

Die die, hope my answers all not wrong.

Nyway i was slaving with the excel exercises for nutting nuthin! Like we don't even need half the stuff in there.

Sigh i hate how the ratio of studied material : tested topics = 100000000 : 1E-10

But i did have a good time working in the uni cluster the other day. Coz i got to talk to some chem eng people. My true clan, those who slave at the lastminute.

But really thanks loohlooh, you are a life saver for explaining everything to me mwah!

The british born chinese (BBC) that i spoke about b4, neh the one who said "well done" to me after my presentation(for God knows what reason) approached me also yesterday. He's actually quite nice, his manchester accent is really good.

I wonder if i can imitate it and if people will think i am BBC too, since my mandarin is already like crap anyway. All it does is make people laugh. Am i such a chinese joke to you huh! You can write my english standard or not first! HUH! My english teacher once told me i needed to use simpler vocabulary for exams because the malaysian public examiners may not be qualified enough, eh she said it not meeeeeeeeee

But really, i am banana. Not full banana but probably half banana. Sorry to be such a shame to the chinese race but it's just who i am. My mother didn't raise me with chinese because she can't speak chinese and i'm not gonna apologise for that. What i'm gona apologise for is how sorry i am that there exists among us still, the stereotypical mindset about who should be what.

I have a malay friend who's been migrating practically everywhere, US, Holland, UK. His accent is a strong international english accent. It's flawless and absolutely wonderful to hear. People are all converging, merging, mixing. Nobody should have to be seen as someone of their own kind.

Diversity, that's the word. Diversity makes the world go round ;) Love it! Embrace it!

I can recite one to ten in dutch! Because i lived in holland as a little girl :) The other day i tested it out with my newly made Dutch friend and guess what, it's correct! v(^^)v

* * * * *

Speaking of a borderless world, check this out. Like HOW CUTE IS THAT! His name is gion he's from france! He's saying, "我真的爱你。真的，真的！" hahahah

An old tale

Dear exbf number 2,

(now i know you've always thought of yourself as number 1 lol but you are actually number 2!)

But if it makes you feel better, you were my first love.

Happy Birthday! Here is my entry for you as promised!

It's funny thinking about how we were so little and young! Doing crazy and stupid things like hahahahahah i guess you know if you think properly.

I remember how i would always stand up for you, how i would always insist there was a side of you in there that was made up of goodness(during our old years you were just always the bad boy getting suspended =.=" and talking your way through the headmaster with your "sweet talk" wtf wtf wtf).

I remember several things, your waves at the pondok, valentines, watching the band peterpan on your computer, your mom confronting my mom, talking to your lil bros on the phone(hearing your bro tell me about his crush!), locking myself in my room painting a pic for you, walking to your house on a sunny day, meeting you under our shady tree, popcorn transfer wtf XD do you remember the imaginary boyfriend i made up? hahaha in fact today someone named ryan talked to me and i remembered this right away!

I remember pointing the third finger at you from the bus when you were under the tree HAHAHA, chasing you around pujut 7, screaming vulgarities at you and writing emo blog entries zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz and the sadness sigh, and throwing mr piggie onto the window sill, and the blaring rock music, and the tearing of the pages in my diary so i wouldn't keep anything anymore.

i remember slamming the phone at you, screaming FCK YOU! Sigh i feel so angry now *throws rocks at you*

Whatever it was, we got over it. I still called you in times of need albeit very rare, and you still called me when you were in the lock-up. =.="

And like i've told you before, we are so different now and we just want different things.

I am glad we made it as friends and i still have the earrings, the letter "My Plague" with the black rose you drew on it and the green paper inside which you cut following the length of your sentences XD I still have the note you placed on my classroom chair one random day which you just tore out of any loose paper.

I used to keep one of your rose petals but one day it got disintegrated XD and mr piggie has been given away to charity XD hahaha SORRY! Think of the happy children! XD

I wish you love on this day, that in your personal loneliness you will find God. I wish you discernment, that you will be able to distance yourself from whatever you feel is wrong. I wish you courage, that you will be brave to stand up for everything you believe in. I wish you continuity, that your strong traits will blossom as you revitalize with character. And longevity so that you can repent before it's too late XD

Just because i stopped believing in us doesn't mean i stopped believing in you.

None other than me,

butterfly.

She turns 19!

Dear Klisting wong popok,

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

Wanna tell you i'm glad that you're fitting in just right in adelaide with friends and the life there. Wish we could celebrate together but haih it's impossible these days.

Thank you popok for always being there for me *bawls* maybe because you are one of the more frequent onliners in the puak(LOVE) hehehe. I miss your blogposts you should return to blogging!

Anyway you are a kind person with an understanding nature. May God bless all that you've done for the people around you today on your birthday and may you receive wonderful gifts and everything that you wish for.

Sigh miss you lar, feel like taking stupid photos with you again and hearing you complain when i post them up in my blog XD

You look so pretty here! And i'm wearing my conductor suit and it looks like you're carrying me !

Be happy on your birthday and remember that you are special and nobody deserves to mistreat you! But i guess you do realise this and i am the one who needs reminding cause i always injure my pride lolol hahaha but anyway, cheers to you klisting, stay happy, optimistic and life-loving because you are truly a reason why i grow to love my own life whenever i am down because you always insist i am right when i rant about people who mistreat me XD

Lastly, remember all the times we've shared together *vitamin c graduation playing SOBS*

WUV U,

sj

The bullet train at standstill

And again i awake with a strengthened spirit, with my mind far off and my body made to turn off in response to disappointment.

Did i put this in myself and was it aggravated by circumstance, or did i begin in inquisitiveness watching as it impaired and morphed into distortion.

Throughout every mistake i made, I let it take me wherever it should go. My mind ran but my being stood still. Come what may, i spoke, as it was endured each time, as it was part of me, part of my choice. I was on my own with no physical being and I should be used to it.

I want to shout breaking the sound barrier. I want to smile loving my gifts.

But when i awake i feel the same. A voice cut off at instances, a mind working like a bullet train on its railway to a distant place, an attempt i find invigorating through success but hurtful through extensive comings, and a cultivating sadness which i bring myself out of and back... for my body to be at standstill, to be sheltered from the greatness of tomorrow.

Excel you make me not excel

More camwhore pics!

Sigh i'll have you know that camwhoring is a great mean of venting out anger and frustration.

Yea so i just started on my microsoft excel booklet and my oh my is it tedious! And everytime i type the wrong formula i will say a curse word like

XD

hahahahah still cracks me up.

yea lar and sometimes to avoid retyping the formula, i will ctrl c and ctrl v but then it doesn't work for excel and guess what, in the end i have to type the whole long damn thing again at both places T_________________________________T

this is an ornament in my room and me posing with it oh so cute!

this is another one of my infamous sideview shots. Mom likes my sideview. Last time i asked her before if she thinks im pretty and she had to choose her words wisely T_T She had to think a while and said, your sideview is nice. And you have a sweet look.

Then i asked, So i'm not pretty is it.

Then she said, Not to say not pretty.

Thanks mom for trying to be so subtle but being tricked by its transparency!

Then she covered up my genius discovery with wise phrases like, Beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder.

So since i have no boyfriend i guess i must be not pretty lah. Nobody beholds me also, maybe you are beholding me now, yes you, reader of my blog, do you feel beauty?

If there are no comments about this i'm gona use a fork to scrape my face T_T

hahaha sigh stress messing with my brain!

hahahaha but it's ok, i don't need to be the prettiest girl in the world. In fact i just realised AngelaBaby has undergone plastic surgery. Yeah i guess to be the prettiest girl in the world, you have to do plastic surgery. Maybe get botox and liposuction for your jiggly bits.

And also, get the metal stuff implanted in your knees to increase your height.

Artificial much? =/

NAH a pic of me smiling with teeth since i never smile with teeth.

My teeth not nice, need braces.

K back to slavery.

I keep singing James Blunt's - no bravery but naturally changing the lyrics to no slavery.

wtf.

Let your hair down

Just a brief update before i drown myself in work T_T

I quite like the teaching style of my Transport phenomena lecturer! he is funny and interesting. Even makes me laugh when i'm sleepy!

He blew bubbles on the day to illustrate the concept of pressure. Pressure is force acting normally per unit area but it is also energy per unit volume!

chinatown art thingie

looh square and her evian XD ahahaha wai lum started the looh square thing. Cause we started to call her loohlooh=loohsquare=L^2=area XD

Oh bless this wondrous road for such divine asian providence

loohlooh's mapo tofu

loohlooh!

我的！不要 post 我的脸因为我的眼睛看起来很小 XD

charsiu wantan min!

oh and did i tell you i grew overnight! now i'm bloody tall i can slamdunk! XD I've got like superlong hands too watch out!

seriously i can never play basketball cause no matter how high i jump and shoot, some guy will just push my ball down like he's playing with his kid or something. Sibeh no energy, just hit it down, damn break my spirit only!

Anyway, that's me with a pencil in my hair cause i forgot to bring my hairtie thingie. Reading temperature of cooling outlet water. And on a chair.

I cut my hair, doesn't look that bad on me right

hahahaha that strand dead giveaway

HEE nolah didn't cut. I just tricked you with my front layers. I will never chop off my locks EVER AGAIN! NEVERRRRRRRR love long hair mwahmwahmwah wtf.

This pic is so cool cause the lighting was naturally that way! Iz realz!

My room has got like 2 general lightings. White, yellow and at times this coolio greenish lighting.

Anyway speaking of long hair, it's damn useful here to protect your ears from freezing and from people knocking that chunk of ice and your ears falling off forever :P

The weather is getting colder now, when i am walking down empty streets, down the boulevard of broken dreams XD and the wind blows on my face, i feel the burnnnnn.

You know like when heat hits you, you just feel that burn on your cheeks. Yea well when cold hits you, it's the same intense feeling. Especially on your cheeks. And the snot from my nose has blood clots. Probably cause the dry air causes irritation to my nasal passages. I've had sensitive blood vessels since forever!

Hmm didn't realise though that cold has such similarities to heat, though i'd probably prefer to die freezing than die burning away.

Cause then i get to look like the ice queen in narnia WAU. XD

Ok that's all byeeeee

1 2 3 Pose!

Sigh why am i such a poser XD XD

Inspired by Lynthia's model post :) Lynthia are you reading this! No wonder we were once best friends :)

The hair thing is very SarahJane. On one of my birthdays as a child, I wore this pretty pink dress and held my hair that way while mommy captured my picture. I'm gonna find that pic in the album and post it up one day!

Anyway there was actually another picture but i removed it because i think it looks err quite slutty. And i also don't want to look too vain. Because i am not. Heheh.

Portrait from the err 1980's. XD

All not photoshopped la, i am too no0b for that! Just black and white. I don't even know how to get the photoshop software in my computer. =.="

HAHAHA now can someone please tell me why i am so lazy until i result to this. Jiak Pa Bo Su Cho!!!!!

Masochist of Guilt

Sigh.

I just realised i am ultimately lazy.

Even lazier than the dudes in my course. At least they touched Excel and they caressed the tables on the pages of heat transfer.

I did AB.SO.LUTE.LY nothing. For real.

I keep telling myself i must go home and fast fast get started! But once i reach home, diao, all gone. ALL MY SENGAMAT just dissipates!

Which is not true because energy cannot be created nor destroyed but can be changed to other forms and yes, i suppose my energy very much converts into errrrr the energy of wanting to energize. IE. Sleep.

Yes indeediedoo, i always climb into those sheets and oh do i love them! I conk off till dinner and then wake up to stuff myself and then back it is either to the computer or to outings.

Sometimes i have some time in between outings but i keep trying to fill them up with excuses, like "oh i need to bath, that takes 1 hour." And if i take 45 minutes, i will say, "i allocated one hour so i should stick to it!" and then wait till the 15minutes are up and go off happily for my outing.

Sweet Goat, there aint no other form of laziness as apparent as possessed by I.

Excel test on the 27th oct and unit conversion test on the 30th. AND engineering math next week tues.

Ralphie send me your birthday luck on the 27th! I need luck i need i need!

Sigh so lazy, I hate myself i hate myself i hate myself

FanciePants

Happy Belated Birthday PEI HAU!

hehehe he looks like he wants to slaughter the cake. A bunch of us went to surprise him at his room!

Anyway, thank you pei hau for saving me the other day when i was in need of saving. (for reasons not to be mentioned lol)

Good to be your friend, and hope you had a blast. See you in class and in the hall like i do every day XD

Very rare, but perfect for tricking people into getting the impression that i'm very dilligent. XD

Saw nando's in michelle's facebook so i take also! XD kiasu cannot lose! ahahaha i ate ExtraHot mwahahaha cause over here, extra hot is like eating mint mentos. Damn no power! Sigh.

Been to lunch with friends. Loohlooh you look pretty here, i like :) That's careena, she's our new taught student forum leader!

Pei hau shy shy. Seng Tuck cool cool.

Ying is very pretty! and wai lum is very wai lum. XD indescribable!

And i was given the task to wrap james birthday present. Tadaa! nothing special also cause to be honest i can't wrap presents to save my life.

MY CURLER WORKS OMG OMG OMG i found out the trick, you have to like plug it in the socket halfway in and not fully in. ciplak one.

* * * CAMWHORE ALERT * * *

Sorryla i don't curl my hair often, need to commemorate this wondrous moment so when i'm balding next time i can show my grandkids that grandmama had hair, don't deny a balding woman her granny wishes.

dinosaur. i wanna get braces! mom said next time when i earn money T_T sobs who's gonna marry ms brace face!

hopeless. My room is messy hopeless. Bet you just want to ask if i'm a girl now.

pajama pants.

The other day we had fire alarm drill and i had to evacuate in them and everyone else was sleepy and grumpy but when they saw my pants their eyeballs were just imprinted with florals embracing a bright and new day, oh pajama pants i underestimated your power

Oh hi tummy

i am like so fat now! I browsed through my old pics and i miss how thin i was! Why did i ever say i was fat then! Look at me now just look at me! arghghghghhg face so round arms so big. I need band again so i will be forced to run laps and do pushups and march from 8-12, 2-5, 7-9!

Ate this yoghurt to remind me of sis cause it's her fav T_T SOBS T_T i miss you che.

Another way to curl hair, yala i like stripes, now i am a green aedes hoh, a mutated one.

And back to straight hair and me looking like porcelain with ugly prisoner walls and a calculator to plan my escape.

My hall served cornetto for dessert yesterday!

Best day of my life! XD

I'm so happy cause diyana(shell scholar) said she likes my hair colour! means it's noticeable even in sunnyless UK. But i still want a lighter shade, i'm gonna DIY it! soon soon :)