Your Coming Back Home

I did not speak when you left us,

the pretty you, whose eyes shone like diamonds.
your sister wrote a tribute when you left,
that we would spend a moment looking up into the sun,
in memory of you.
my heart shatters when i remember.

today, another one has gone,
my childhood friend, the bright little star.
he never boasted of riches, but he was quick to give,
joy and laughter, and joy and laughter.

it comes in all but a second,and takes you away forever.
will i find you again, in my memory?
my heart it aches, knowing i have lost you.

Tick Tock

in the day i crave solitude.

in the night i crave solitude.

i crave it like a drug.

i feel like a recluse.

day by day my introversion takes over.

on weekends i lay in bed and sleep.

i rise for lunch and go back to bed.

tick tock tick tock.

on weekdays i surround myself in four walls.

enveloped by papers and files.

and a million thoughts.

tick tock tick tock. goes my life.

i just never see it clearly.

the cells in my body that deteriorate from lack of physical activity.

the nauseating refluxes that take over when i endure anxiety.

the eyes that twitch from screen-staring and paper-reading.

the lack of skill i am reminded of each day.

the people i push away to be alone.

the dances i never learn and the paintings i never paint.

the time that moves away from me. slowly.

gradually.

achingly.