Leaps, Lofts, and Life

HELLO

how y'all doin!

i was supposed to blog about italy and my birthday along with all my pics but right now i just feel like typing in a blank white space (: this blog this blog, this blog, contains sooooo much information about me. i mean looking back at it, there was this one time, the air stewardess who checked my bags in for me found me here on this blog the next day and commented to wish me a safe journey!

and another time i met a guy in college who read my blog before introducing himself to me and when he met me in tuition class he wrote notes to me about my life! and we're still friends now, he called the other day!

i mean fun quirky interesting stuff happen to me because of this blog. i do wonder though if i will ever shut this down one day. i've been tempted to a couple of times but then my heart just starts to ache and then i chicken out hahahahahahaha

over a blog

chyah

i'm so sentimental over every little thing that i WANT to go back to our old house in holland one day to just peer at it from the outside and try to recall childhood memories (: and i was there like when i was a baby??! for a couple of years? and yet i'm still sentimental over it! i had a dream one time about playing about in this loft of some sort, i just knowwwww the house is calling out to me lolololol sentimentamania :p

my life is same old, i'm starting to dread going back to manchester though. i mean it's just so great at home! when you're sad or lonely or whatever not, you can just go hang out with your siblings! or play the piano! or go for a drive! (which i am getting better at btw WHEEE), or go for a swim (i plan to do that soon) and not be devoured by the cold

i love my life at the moment, i feel my spirit catching up with my core.

i feel like i finally understand a lot of things in life, like i'm at peace. with reference to my previous entry. hahahaha in case you all didn't already figure out "he" was "ME" wtf lol

sorry i like writing stuff like that. i guess that's just who i am. i appreciate artistry in the form of cryptic writing. it expresses the things i cannot bring myself to say in such accuracy, down the very last detail. it allows me to get lost in the head for a bit and then find my way back illuminated (:

anyway, i wonder how things will move from here. sometimes i like to be a step ahead of everything so i don't ever need to feel unprepared. it stresses. me. out. thoughts about internships and about the future and about my career and all those cuhrayzay stuff adults think about. oh lawdy have merceh

at the same time i wanna make sure i enjoy these last few years of my tertiary education, fun times don't come by so often anymore when you start working. or maybe they do, they just appear in different forms and substances (probably a lot MORE substances if you get what i mean) :p

so many questions in my head so many leaps ahead i want to take. but really, sometimes it's best to just take things slow (i mean that's what the priest told me when i went for holy confession, a very blair wardorf moment i must say) hahahahahhaah he told me that my life seemed to move in a really quick pace and he assured me that it's okay to chill out and take a breather.

precisely what i'm doing now, although i can't say the same for the thoughts in my head, they've always been a problem for me!! they whiff around like they aint got no mastah! i really love talking to priests by the way, i think they are ever so wise. and i kind of like the act of reconciliation, i think it is a really genuine, humbling experience. i go once in a while just when i feel like my life needs some cleansing haha guess i'm quite in touch with my spirituality.

what am i even talking about? i'm like jumping from one topic to the next. i should probably go to bed but i slept today from 3-7pm because i'm a monstrous napper monstrous. i love staying up late at night, there's just something so tranquil about the dark and the quiet.

but i'm running out of things to say.

i guess i'm just glad that everything has found its place somehow in my life despite the difficulty i've had to endure to get here.

thanks for reading guys, and goodnight.

much love,

sj

Princess Happy

Good morning, princess.

It's your birthday. You are now twenty two years old. twenty, freaking, two *freaks out by a corner*

how do you feel today? apart from weirded out by the fact that you called yourself princess? if it's any consolation you have an excuse to do so because your name Sarah literally means Princess in Hebrew :)

You have been through so much in your life. Good bad, happy sad. You've known pain and laughter, joy and disaster. I guess you are a splendid catastrophe. You are an astoundingly woolly ball of thread constantly entangling and untangling free.

In 8 years you will be 30. Thir fuhreaking ty. How scary. If anyone knows how quickly time flies it would have to be you. And if anyone knew how excruciatingly long phases take to pass it would have to be you too.

This is pathetic. You are talking in circles and bringing to the table a pile of contradictions. Make up your mind sometime soon?

I guess future Sarah in her thirties would like to look back on this entry in 7 years and discover all sorts of mystery and wonder in her life as a twenty freaking two year old, only to discover that you have always been same old and you always will be. Reinventing new dreams, reigniting new passions, when they are and have only ever been regurgitations of what you've always known to believe in.

You just didn't realise them at the time it mattered. You just didn't identify the pivot point in a field of random dots. Sometime in the future you may find yourself in the very same position.

Nevertheless, future Sarah, present Sarah will have you know that twenty two year old you gleefully accepts life as it is. You've come so far. You're going to graduate in a year. Another milestone! Apart from that, you've loved and you've lost, but you've found yourself, your old self, your true self. Finally the phases of darkness are over and long gone. You've yearned for this day and you've earned it. Your friends are beautiful, beautiful people. You've always had a knack for strong emotional attachments to people so much so that you struggled so much enduring physical distance with your best friend in the whole wide world, Grace Alyssa Chua Swee Ying, as well as your other besties in Puak 13. ( a very cool name indeed )

You have also always had a knack for things of the past, holding every bit of sentimentality so very close to your heart as though they would run away and dissipate if you loosened your grip. But now that you are twenty two, the most valuable lesson you've learnt is that life in all its horrid unpredictability can be such a big  fat obese mess but there isn't a reason, nuh-uh, to stop believing in beauty ever new, every great, ever glowing.

Because indeed, that is what you have found, so far, of late, after years of pining and indecision. You've learnt to keep the friendships of old, knowing just knowing they are forever, and you've learnt to let go of anything that eats at you as you open up to even more amazing people and amazing things.

Your family is an amazing amazing family and you should know by now that the eyes of the twenty two year old you glisten with gratitude and sparkle as they thank the God above for your lucky circumstantial standings in the world as a daughter of the two greatest beings on this earth.

Oh and law might possibly be the best thing to happen to you.

Anyway, princess, the point is, you've made it. You've made it to a place of normalcy and routine and you might even have made it further than that. Contentment isn't all too shabby but it certainly isn't a mere contentment you are feeling deep within the corollary veins of this organ they call heart.

You feel peace. You feel calm. You feel strength. You feel all sorts of things, one of which might possibly resemble this famous expression they call.... happiness.

Fly Away and Be Free

hey, i'm sorry i haven't been blogging.

had a rough and emotional weekend. a tragedy happened in my hometown but i'm not going to mention it here because it has attracted enough publicity. i feel very emotional over what happened even though i wasn't that close to her and even though i'm halfway across the globe, i don't really know why, but i think it's because something similar (but less tragic) happened to someone i really loved.

nonetheless this girl was always so sweet and cheerful. she was one of my juniors in band and i was always fond of her because i always thought she was a good person, confident, kind and pretty.

anyway she is gone now, to a better place. i guess this is just a blog entry to pay tribute to her for her being with us for a while. we know she is happy now with God as a few of us have witnessed a miraculous ending at her funeral.

please take a moment of silence to say a prayer for her family members. or if you don't know her personally, take a moment of silence to ponder on your life. are you living to the best of your ability? have you forgiven your loved ones or your enemies?

she is to be remembered always, and to be respected for her bravery and perseverance through her struggles. she is even in the hearts of those of us scattered around the world, because it is a pleasure to have known her, and she has brought joy to many.

Rest in peace dear.

we all love you.

God the Great

Just the other day i felt like I had a fulfilling day so i plopped on the bed and decided to read my bible :)

i don't do this everyday. quite the contrary actually :S i am a weekly sunday mass church go-er and i say my night prayers when i usually need something or when i'm with matt cause we will say half-half. :S but i do go for confessions before easter and christmas. anyway that's not the point.

the point is as i sat there and randomly turned to a page, the page staring back at me had the subtitle SARAH on it. it was the book of tobit and sarah was one of the characters described in the book.

Honestly, i do believe in a higher power called the almighty God. I constantly do. And i know people are just gonna say it's coincidence etc etc but this isn't the first time something "coincidental" has happened. It has happened to me probably more than 10 times. Other examples include me reading the bible in times of distress and then reading a phrase that exactly expresses my emotions on the day.

Honestly, before i came into law, i was pretty distant with God because i was in a bitter phase and i thought every single force was against me lol

but i did turn to the bible on very rare occasions and when i randomly turned to a page, it usually talked about law. be it the law in abraham's time, or general phrases about law. AND i decided to do a scripture reading in church one day and lo and behold the last phrase was this :

"with God on your side, no law can stop you."

which was exactly to how i was feeling because i was worried that as a lawyer i'd do things contrary to my ethics/religious principles.

those signs helped me through my decision to go on in law even though i hadn't the slightest clue what i were to do with the rest of my life.

It may be slightly appropriate to say that i may have, once or twice, felt like giving up on God. But yet i know, He has never given up on me :)

God is great, Hallelujah.

Law School

I guess I should probably write an entry about law school.

This is because with all the drama in life, if i don't hold on to placing importance on my education, i will turn into an anti-feminist who only cares about becoming a housewife *fear*

actually the thought seems quite appealing. HA. HA.

It's difficult. This adaptation thing. Bless ye mirians who stay on to retain your sheltered life, never needing to feel the cold freeze on your nose, your heart break at the silence of your being alone in a big world, or the weird responses in the way people misunderstand the way you deliver speech due to your accent. I will forever love and protect miri, even though i am here, because you are my humble roots, my true being and nature :)

But more importantly, law school is challenging but very rewarding. The exposure is tremendous and i wouldn't trade it for a life of comfort in miri.

I might write this with partial bias for the purpose of convincing everyone i am alright hahaha but 85% of the stuff are not exaggerated.

Most of the time when i complete a job well done (subject to my expectation which has lowered significantly for my own good), i feel a deep sense of belonging and joy.

I am ecstatic when i reach out and do things i thought were beyond my capacity to pursue.

I wouldn't say everything is breezy because learning independence and improving myself is already a stress on its own, but i would be able to say that the minds of law students are somewhat more compatible to that of mine.

Lectures make more sense and strike a more interesting bond with me because of its relation to subjects of my interest. Society. Economy. Things of the world i should and would need to grow to understand to eventually become a true portion of the successful woman.

I love that i've met a few friends whom i feel to be lovely, genuine and kind people.

Things right now are in a nice moderate balance. I exercise weekly at dance. I eat breakfast in the morning. I took a voluntary job for my CV. I study when i need to (though subject to the effect of emotional strain).

I wouldn't say i am in tiptop condition but i would say that God has equipped me with almost everything to be aimed in that direction. A boyfriend who stays up when i'm upset. A friend who teaches me when i don't understand. An academic advisor who's willing to listen. A whole array of familiar faces in chemical engineering. A strong and stable mindset. Surely, it would take time. Surely, my principles will evolve into certainty and my character will learn courage and the ability to love every part of me as i am.

I guess i am in some ways still suspended at the main crossroad most people are lucky to not have endured but then again, i was always lucky to have been in it early to know how to counter indecision when it tackles again.

This is my life as sarahjane and there is not a chance i would change any part of it, nor recall in bitterness the past for recollection. I have cried and i have laughed but mostly, i have matured.

I have always kept true to one thing, and that thing is that time is everything.

If for any reason i were to be proud of anything at all, it would be to have gone through mistake after mistake and still find a way to polish myself into loving this life.

I understand greatly the concept of free will and i know that in its danger lies an adventure i will recklessly yet rationally learn to take on again as time progresses, as i stride on to find a greater meaning in my journey of exploring God's splendid masterpiece.

The Big Two-Oh

So it's my 20th birthday today.

Personally, i've always thought birthdays were overrated *bitter lol

But as overrated as they are, everyone would still love feeling special on this day, i mean who bloody wouldn't! It's the day life decided to come take over only to take us back to death one day T_T

Honestly while growing up, something bad would ALWAYS happen on my birthday! i thought i was cursed with incompatibility with birthdays or some lame condition.. like when someone is not a morning person or when someone is not a rollercoaster person. i thought i was an anti-birthday person!

i know right! so bitter! why can't i just be like those normal people who get excited about their birthdays and jump up and down on a trampoline wth

I haven't actually been excited about anything lately. Because of my theory, Newton's 3rd Law

But anyway! i just got a buzzillion wishes on facebook! And it is very uplifting! (even though some people have not spoken to me since forever that i had to click on their profile to see their picture properly and say OH, THAT GUY! and they probably wished me because they just saw it off fb and hope i'll wish them when their bday comes so that all their fb friends will see all their wishes and say "that person is so lucky!" wtf)

But whatever it is! It's lovely to receive wishes on my birthday :):) and it doesn't really matter if you haven't seen me forever because now you have reminded me of your presence and i will now try to talk to you more often because you have apparently not been a victim of my fb stalking ahahaha you must not be very good looking or nothing really embarrassing must have happened to you. lol i am so mean.

Don't perasan lah! If you perasan it means you have very low self esteem cause you don't think you are good looking lol

Thanks anyway for your wonderful wishes. I'm really happy to have so many friends :) please don't refrain from wishing me ah if you happened to have read my blog before wishing me on fb. (because i want to be one of those lucky people who gets wishes too!) LOL

Truthfully, this year, and last year, i got really really emotional at midnight on my birthday. It has nothing to do with anyone but me, pondering upon the year that has just gone by and whether or not i was happy at ages 18 and 19. Life has been really hard the past 3 years and i don't know why! but i always get emo on my birthday! But only for a short while though.

I've received advice from so so so many people. I understand life will always be an effort. But not THIS kind of effort. It's hard to explain but right now i find myself struggling with so many things it is just. not. funny. Ahhhh, but enough of all that lah!

Like grace said in her wish, it's time to forget about all my bad experiences, bad times, and take this birthday as a starting point. And i certainly intend to. Her wish really hit me spot on. It really made me think about what i need to do for my life. I guess people will have bad years. Perfectly normal right? If you haven't had bad years and have only had bad times, BEWARE, for it WILL come one day, you have been duly warned! ahahhaha i get to scare you because i'm the birthday girl! HUH!

All in all, i still need to be proud. At least i haven't attempted jumping off a cliff or needed any anti-depressant medications. Right? Sigh people always tell me i shouldn't be proud of such small things but at the same time they tell me i should be optimistic. They are so confusing and expectant and i hate people like that! i hope one day they will confuse their ownselves lol i am so mean.

Anyway, baby called to wish at midnight :):) i got to whine about how OLD i am now! 20 lah omg! SO OLD! mom always complains about how immature i am and she keeps saying "at your age people got two kids already loh!" sigh... matt was trying to make me feel better about being twenty and somehow he ended up criticizing 19 for being a prime number lol.

wth such a mathematical reason(and possibly the only reason although i think being PRIME is supposed to be a good thing!)..when i went to pee for a while he asked me to cherish my first pee as a 20 year old WTH matt ahahahahah

anyway, i went to morning mass this morning and did the offertory. Just leaving my life to God now. After ages of mild suffering (which seems ginormous to me), what else is there left to do you tell me! There is nothing else that can control my life besides the Lord who created me.

Happy birthday to me and may my life get SIGNIFICANTLY better and may it never plunge again ever x80 (for the next 80 years of my life lol)

Oh man, 19-year old face, how i miss you!

Reason and religion

"I've loved the stars too fondly to be fearful of the night."

Galileo Galilei expressed fond affection for the field he slowly grew to love and discover, astronomy.

More prominently, we know Galileo Galilei for the controversy brought to the table by his discoveries with the earth and sun. Nevertheless, after years of logical research, science proved Galileo precise in his findings whilst Galileo himself stayed true to the faith.

"I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use."

*****

Belief, is a lever that when moved, remains the primary control of the minds and actions of those who live and who breathe.

The act of not believing in a particular religion, is also, a belief.

Belief in science. Belief in atheism. Belief in the evolutionary manner of the human person.

If you read my blog thoroughly, you'd know that I personally believe in God, and in the teachings of the roman catholic church. Hence, considering history, bringing up Galileo Galilei is probably going to elicit a "what?!" from fellow churchgoers.

So is the fact that I love my friends who are atheists, of other religions, freethinkers, are gay/bisexual, are addicted to certain manners, are parents before having gotten married, so on and so forth.

With an open mind, I am not going to justify my thoughts, nor defend anything which is against the teachings of the catholic church.

Rather, I would like to express my views on religion.

Many at times, people choose to stay away from the border that separates religion with controversial happenings in reality. What I think could be the essence of this is the fear of contamination, not necessarily of oneself but of one's loved ones and fellow friends.

Often at times, a devout believer of a religion feels overly humiliated, that through foundered civilisation, the world is now being taken over by things and perceptions contrary to their beliefs of which they simply have no control over.

Because of an increasingly movable stance in the world, it becomes difficult to accept the realities of the world, and much much easier to stand strong in personal belief in a religion, shutting out several issues seeming disgraceful to a particular faith. Zero involvement in these controversies would then deem us safe, unperturbed, certain of our faith. It would cost us too much, crossing the border to the dark side we know could possibly take us away from love, joy and peace, to a region entirely unknown to us, fraught with confusion and unanswered questions.

More often than not, believers in a religion protect their faith from the gray and hazy decision making which leads to great peril. We usually relate despicable actions to the nature of the person, and not to the faith in which a person takes as his own.

What we justify, is human thought, brought about by reasoning whilst we stay in solid insistence that what God has entrusted into our hands is for the greater good of mankind as written in the holy scriptures.

To me, no man can live on reason alone. Upon a death of a loved one, or a sickness infecting a child with unfathomable roots, we crumble into deep need of comfort. In utter sadness, we reason and reason until the loved one is taken away into death while we move on, never truly knowing WHY death chose the particular child of ours.

Because of this thirst for comfort, many tend to believe that the concept of religion burst out of cement like a growing plant, due to this reason alone. We insist that had there been no hole in cement, religion would not be existent, nor come to mind.

But in reality, none of us have lived the centuries to tell the stories of the forefathers. Transcendent faith remains a mystery and at times we wonder, what caused this tradition which for so many years has kept descendants faithful and strong till this generation.

Sacred holy books are said to be the true Word of God or the Way of Life. In the rigidity of the human mind, countless interpretations continue to incur and believers of a particular religion tend to place the blame on another for the tremendously terrifying occurrences rampantly taking over the world. Crusades. Terrorism. So on and so forth.

"And in St. Augustine [in the seventh letter to Marcellinus] we read: 'If anyone shall set the authority of Holy Writ against clear and manifest reason, he who does this knows not what he has undertaken; for he opposes to the truth not the meaning, which is beyond his comprehension, but rather his own interpretation; not what is in the scripture, but what he has found in himself and imagines to be there'"

Due to our various human interpretations, loopholes big enough for a gigantic blue whale to swim through exist within anyone interested in faith. It is therefore imperative that in a particular religion, one ought to appreciate, examine, meditate and even scrutinize scripture, NOT for the purpose of interpreting the scripture perfectly because it is fairly impossible for any human person to truly grasp any perfect meaning on human intelligence alone. Rather, the purpose of doing so is to discover any possible interpretation of which scripture could be susceptible to, which could in turn, destroy the true meaning in all its holiness, driving the world to the deprivation of goodness.

It is therefore, beyond our reach to decipher every single religion and is only through our personal understanding with our faith that we decide the belief we choose for our lives, as have I, after a debacle of indecision leaving a great impact on my views.

What is paramount in today's world of hatred and sorrow, is the ability to demolish the walls that so sturdily insulate believers from inquisitiveness, scrutiny and criticism.

Returning to the very first quote of Galilei at the very top of this entry, in the night, there is darkness, which to me means unfamiliarity.

Within that darkness we all linger, is a star, an inexplicable beauty contained in unfamiliarity in the same way darkness itself was created.

For the love of this beauty, we can now choose to let go of our fear; letting go of our defense mechanisms on guard to attack those against our beliefs. And learn to be open to humbling criticism or mild persecutions for the betterment of the world and the diversity within it, bearing in mind the imminence of prevailing truth as light arrives with the sunrise.

:O)

I don't know if you guys know about this application on facebook which tells you like little notes of what God has to say about your life. It starts with the line "On this day, God wants you to know....". Matt and i call it facebook God lol.

But man! it always seems to be accurate to however i'm feeling!

Today's message from facebook God IS .................. *drum roll*

Even when you feel ugly or depressed or guilty or ashamed, there is an inner spark in you which is light. This light is your beauty. This light is your reflection of God. You are a child of God, thus you are beautiful.

:O)

I am going to be freeeeee again. I feel at this moment like the adventurous sarah jane who takes leaps! and does crazy things! Life doesn't always have to be planned out beautifully.

I'm turning 20 this year. When i think of 20, I think OMG, twentehhhh omg omg omg lol

But really, i am probably the most immature 20 year old. and that isn't a thing to be proud of i reckon. I certainly don't look 20 years old! 4 out of 5 people think i'm 16. Matt thinks i am in some ways mature, but i guess life has somehow molded me into a planner/needs to succeed/control freak/needs to have things her way 20 year old.

Which in turn made me a worrier/masochist/sadist/angry person!

Age and life's flow of endless worries should not have the right to beat me to living!

I am at home doing absolutely nothing but chores and more chores that it's pretty much the equivalent of being unemployed by like say 25, but I am alive!

I am going to find my way in law, and i am gonna find my way great!

I've spoken to a couple of people who thinks law is gonna be great for me and thank you thank you thank you! I will not disappoint you!

I am weirdly energized and it's so weird how letting go of a few things that have held you back feels so incredibly liberating.

By the time i'm old, wrinkly and diagnosed with f*cking chronic gastric, i will be continually maturing in all my youth.

God is great.

The Healer

I attended a conference yesterday and the day before yesterday with Father Stefan Starzynsky who came all the way from Virginia, US. It was a 2 day conference from 7am-4pm. It was supposed to be for men but many women turned up. I was kind of one of the youngest there.

name tag

Father Stefan is a catholic priest who is gifted by God with the power for healing.

Nice background

It was an incredible experience. I found his talks inspiring, particularly "Traditions of the catholic church" and "forgiveness".

Father Stefan is a miracle worker. His first miracle was the healing of a baby after he was ordained as priest. The baby was about to die and had tubes attached, and the baby's parents invited Father Stefan over for the final annointing (before death). Father then appeared at their house, asked the parents if they believed he would heal their baby in the name of Jesus, and miraculously, the baby was healed.

I understand skeptics would be all over this story, attacking it from beginning to end.

But anyway, I attended his healing session yesterday and it was one of the most realistic experiences ever in my life.

We just sat there in the hall, with only a few lights on, with one arm extended to the person next to us for prayer for them, and Father Stefan walked, while mentioning the healing of everyone in the room. He received images even with his eyes open.

I admit i was at first wondering if he was just making it up, but as it slowly went by, I knew he wasn't.

He even mentioned the names of those who had cancer.

Lady in the hat. Man with a blue striped collar. Margaret.

So many names. He mentioned they would be set free and be healed. He would mostly mention names individually without connecting them to their problems because of course people want their privacy.

He even mentioned seeing an image of someone in the hall having supposed to have had a deathly heart attack that day but that person ended up NOT having a heart attack because God was merciful.

He mentioned random things like someone wanting to open a fishing business, telling him he should go for it. Something SO random. And when i went home and told mom, she mentioned that her friend's husband from church was planning to open a fishing business.

He mentioned someone who's worried about bankruptcy, people who had been sexually abused (1 boy and 1 girl), someone who was bullied and told her mom who didn't believe her, someone who was fired from a company for doing the right thing, people who have suffered from depression all their lives being healed, someone's fear of heights being healed, someone's allergy to seafood being healed, someone's phobia of water being healed, and many others.

He had an image of a man lying on the bed that day not wanting to come saying "what's the use?" but who in the end made it.

He had an image of someone burnt in the fire with scars, telling the person that he/she is beautiful.

He had another healing session 3 days ago, and the woman whom he mentioned would be healed of her hearing problems, was indeed healed and told him the next day.

But of course the thing that convinced me MOST of all that what he said was real, was the things he said about me.

With stunningly precise description, he mentioned the deepest most painful parts of my life, standing a few feet away from me. And the shivering i got in taylor's because of my fear (not the cold shiver) came back as he spoke about my life. Crying, a strong warmth hit my face and i was engulfed by it.

It is so personal, i won't write it here.

But i will say now that one of it has helped me believe with certainty, that i am not meant to do chemical engineering.

God has other plans for me :)

This is by far the only time i am truly convinced of my course change. This is the only time all the fear of changing a whole direction in my life, guilt for losing money, sadness from failure, almost every night of terrible dreams, every sinking feeling of anger towards my life, have finally made sense.

Skeptics, feel free to say anything you like, but you just had to be there to understand. you just had to be there. if there ever is such a close relationship with God you ever experience, nothing else will convince you of his non-existence.

You would sacrifice that thing of the world you had reaped, loved, and fought for, for the almighty Father because of the realness of His love not only in your heart, but in the hearts of people in the world, and of those who have gone before us.

Thank you God for blessing the miri diocese and the world with the presence and gift of Father Stefan.

Thank you for the Holy Spirit, who is leading us to the truth.

Plaster of manchester XD

Blessed Good Friday everyone!

Went to mass and then went for confession wheeee. the mass was really long, but the gospel (passion) was kind of special because it involved choir singing at intervals. Choir in the oxford road church is amazing O.O

Anyone anticipating easter? :)

Anyway nothing much recently. Still need to settle more things but everything's closed till tuesday. Had nightmares the past two nights :( yesterday night, i had multiple nightmares and woke up with a scratch on my wrist, bleeding =/

morbid! morbid! morbid!

Lol. but i'm fine. Pfft come on i love my life too much haha. I'm on..... plaster. XD

Last night's dream was about eerie owls in the dark and black crows with streaks of white feathers flapping their wings with this really loud sound till i just couldn't take it!!! =/

Sigh when will my nightmares endddddddddddddddddddddd. Makes me force myself to think of nice things before i sleep to ensure that my brain is filled with pleasant thoughts.. which of course makes it extremely difficult to fall asleep.

Anyone know how to prevent nightmares?

The life in death

http://www.lifesitenews.com/ldn/2010/mar/10030211.html

Any thoughts?

Safe in God

An understanding God, an understanding family.

What more can a girl ask for?

:) with everything that's been going on lately, i can't help but feel touched at how people react in accordance to their faith be it on facebook, web pages, blogs. It is beyond wonderful.

All the people in the synagogue were furious when they heard this. They got up, drove Jesus out of the town, and took him to the brow of the hill on which the town was built, in order to throw him down the cliff.

But he walked right through the crowd and went on his way.

-Luke 4:28-30

***

At this, they picked up stones to stone him,

but Jesus hid himself, slipping away from the temple grounds.

-John 8:59

Jesus, let me never be parted from you. Let us all walk as You did in humility, forgiveness and LOVE