Tag you're it

Doing a beauty tag because i am bored!!! and was randomly youtubing and found this tag HEH HEH yalah i was supposed to youtube more lawyerly stuff but i guess since i am a girl i can justify liking fashiony stuff? sorry, please don't hate me feminist friends, actually, i have quite a few feminist friends and they are totally fine with loving fashion and beauty because we are women and we have the privilege of liking such things alongside being opinionated so yah. i don't know why that explanation was necessary lol

QUESTIONS:

1.) Would you rather lose all of your mascaras, eyeliners, lipsticks, and lipglosses or lose all of your palettes and eyeshadows?

lose eyeshadows. because i never ever wear eyeshadows because i'm content with eyeliner :)

2.) Would you rather chop off all your hair or never be able to cut it again?

i would rather chop it all off because it still grows!! HAH. i would not want to never be able to cut it again because super long hair gets freakishly scary once it grows like beyond your waist and that will make me feel like some pontianak or something. plus long hair would incur greater cost with the maintenance the upkeep the hair accessories. and since i'm petite i would feel like it devours me and weighs me down (the main reason i get haircuts, AM GETTING ONE AFTER EXAMS BTW! and it will change my look significantly!) heh heh heh

3.) Would you rather have a coral cheek or a pink cheek?

i only have coral blushers and bronzers so i'm not one to answer this but i'd rather have coral because my skintone is medium dark/medium fair (depending on what the season is) and i feel like pink blush makes me look too dolly (but i am still on the hunt for one i like) and also where i come from it's summer all year round so coral is in forever!

4.) If you had $1000 to spend, would you rather buy clothes or makeup?

CLOTHES! because i'm not a huge makeup person at all

5.) Would you rather apply lipstick as eyeliner, or eyeliner as lipstick?

i would choose to have my eyeliner!! so yea i'd apply eyeliner as lipliner. like errr a dark purply taupey colour as lip liner and fill in with lipstick. just because i want eyeliner

6.) Would you rather only shop at MAC or Sephora?

hah. i don't shop at any but i will say sephora because i've been wanting to try makeup forever since FOREVER

7.) Would you rather only use one eyeshadow color or one lip color for the rest of your life?

one lip colour. because i hardly use lip colours (usually just slather on chapstick) and i only have a few lip colours i really like, usually it's light bronzy or it's dark maroon. and although i never use eyeshadow, i'm pretty sure once i start i won't want just one colour on my lids because different colours can change the windows to your soul LOL

8.) Would you rather wear winter clothes in summer or summer clothes in winter?

summer clothes in the winter! notwithstanding the fact that i will freeze. but summer cardis can be worn in the winter for layering. and i will never ever give up my summer dresses, halters and shorts because i live for the summer. summer summer rah rah rah!

9.) Would you rather have dark nails or bright nails all year round?

probably go with dark. i don't particularly like brights other than pinks and oranges but then again the shades of those are more pastel. dark nails i love, like brown, navy, green. sometimes i feel like they are too dark but if i did feel that way i could just go without polish. and dark colours match more clothes

10.) Would you rather give up your favorite lip product or your favorite eye product?

i'd give up my favourite eye product because my lips not being chapped is important to me (and for my boyfriend too ;) HEH HEH HEH nah not really, he doesn't care

11.) Would you rather only be able to wear your hair in a ponytail or a messy bun?

messy bun because i love buns although i'm more prone to ponytails because i get insecure how my bun looks since i can't see it LOL

12.) Would your rather never be able to paint your nails again or never use lipgloss?

never use lipgloss. because i can use lipstick and lip butters/chapsticks! hah your question is flawed

13.) Would you rather shave your eyebrows and have none at all or sharpie them in everyday?

i'd rather get em shaved because i have bad eyebrows anyway! and then i can use falsh lashes (the individual ones) to STICK ON EVERYDAY fml hahhaahha or i will get them embroidered. but sharpie eyebrows are like WTF NEVERRR

14.) Would you rather live without makeup or nail polish?

without nail polish. because makeup in general helps!!! especially foundation!!! and if i didn't have em i can assure you i will be the ugliest woman on the planet. not just that, i won't look neat or professional, so that leads to no good jobs, no friends, no husband, basically, my life would END

LOL

nah, bf likes me without makeup. after a shower he'll look at me and say "so pretty without makeup why do you even bother to put them on?" (maybe i'm just lousy at putting makeup on or maybe he's just impatient and doesn't like it when i get ready too long lol) and my best friend grace isn't all that into makeup either and sometimes when i need a pick-me-up i'll put makeup on so i won't look shitty and she'll ask me to go natural. so yeah. life will probably not cease to exist. but nail polish is like MEH, who needs nail polish, you can just use water colour anyway :P if it destroys your nails then just cut em when they grow out!

the end

ok once you actually make it to the end of this post, you are officially tagged to do this!!! so go ahead, it's fun :)

Random Snippet

life has taught me ever so much through the times i was weak, i am comforted knowing that my life anticipates ever so much more than a sole future oriented in career. i have dreams and visions and ambitions, yes, but they do not overtake the person that i am, and the dreams i have for the society and the world that we live in. my goal is to live the best that i can, yes, but the ultimate goal in life is one less self-centered, and the mere belief in such a grand mission is in itself the greatest comfort for the entire humankind.

It Gets Better

Happy new year everyboday!~~~ it's 2012, how come the world has not ended? jengjengjeng mayan prediction fail

i'm at home alone HAHAHAHHA damn sad. because bf and i argued today and we are not speaking *gloom. actually i am speaking to him but can't say the same for him.

we had plans but they didn't happen, what to do, when it comes to love things are just so unpredictable! thought i'd be really down because of this but surprisingly, i am not :)

i guess i am just THANKFUL for this year so much so that nothing can keep me down. i wrote a private list of resolutions last year and i achieved pretty much all but 2 maybe? really satisfactory and 2011 was a much healthier year compared to the past few years.

right now, i'm thinking of my parents at home because new year's for me used to be just spending time with them countdown-ing with them in front of the teevee :) (or was that merdeka HAHAHA i dunno la i forget already) i think my sister went out to partay lol but i was always the one at home with them. and then i'd go up and do something lame like write in my diary or something. so i'm not really pampered by the whole convention of counting down with fireworks getting drunk and being giddy happy.

anyway, my resolutions... hmm.. i haven't given much thought about them lor but i guess i'm just gonna be spontaneous!

to be honest, i've NEVER believed in resolutions. EVER. i think they are unrealistic goals which turn into unachievable burdens. but that might've just been because i was a sore loser who refused to conform to the norms of society due to my claim of anomalousness yea right as if i'm anomalous to this, i'm a human being living under the same laws of humanity i don't see why i should be set apart hahaha

anyway you can read my older entries here if you wish

new year's entry for the year 2011

new year's entry for the year 2010

anyway are ya ready for some impromptu resolution making? readay!? ok?!

1. never speak of the D word again.

ok so the last couple of years have been a real trying time for me and i was diagnosed with the D word by a certified psychologist. *shudder* yes i was under depression, and some of you think i'm so brave for being so open about this whilst some of you started to think of me as a ball of frailty waiting to break apart or something lame like that, dammit the stigma that attaches itself to the D word can be scary sometimes but i'd rather be ostracised than be fake so i'm accepting it and moving on :)

because life in 2011 miraculously got better after years of me pining for some sort of BREAK from my weird D-sion! and i finally got it!! life started to look up for me and everything somehow fell into place. i used to hide behind the huge excuse that is the D word and told myself that if i couldn't do this/that, it would be alright because i am D-ed! but as it is now year 2012, i resolute (i resolute?) to remove the D word from my dictionary and be no longer held under its spell. i could not be more grateful to return to my natural self :)and i apologise to anyone who has felt mistreated by my actions in 2011 which brings me to number 2!

2. be a less judgmental person and be less hypersensitive

if my D has taught me one thing, it would be that everyone in this entire world has their own individual story and the things that tick them off or make them go crazy. sometimes we may find it very unreasonable, or incomprehensible but when i was having a hard time, all i could think of was "how i wish somebody could think that it was this rather than that", as in how i wish they would understand the reason behind me doing something, ie, not that i didn't want to, but that i simply couldn't no matter how hard i tried. and that in turn made me realise that people in the world should not be judged because they all harbour things in their life we might not know of at all! so instead of saying "he did that because he's an ass" i will try to say "he did that because he's been hurt".

also, if anyone chooses to hurt me unceasingly, instead of resulting to my D ways and throwing a fuss, i will just say "fuck you ignorant fool" :D

3. eat healthy

i do not possess any amazing cooking skills whatsoever, in fact cooking does not make me happy nor do i patiently research new recipes. therefore, i resolute to add more fruits and veges into my daily meals. i mean, it's easy right? just buy some mushrooms and throw it in the chickien!

4. diet less and exercise more

ok i don't actually diet per se, as in i'm not innit to win it (or in this case lose it?). but sometimes when i look in the mirror and feel so fucking fugly i lessen my carbs (which i will continue to do) and snack less (which is good) but i also do this really bad thing. ok, so since i like snacks A LOT, i will substitute my healthy lunch with light snacks so i can lose weight AND be happy. actually that is so awesome, why am i stopping this? :( anyway i used to be a real good sport with exercising. when i was in taylor's i used to jog around my apartment lika boss and now i'm just a lazy ass with a fat bum and flabby arms T_________T therefore, i resolute to engage myself in fun exercise like dance or cheerleading or something like that (nah not really, i wasn't serious about the cheerleading but you'd be surprised how many people describe me as the cheerleaderish girl despite me being D-ed)

5. drink less coffee scratch that. don't think that's worthy of a resolution *shifty eyed* i guess i could rephrase it. be less dependent on coffee and drink it only as a treat so that i won't get addicted t the hyperactivity it provides me with. actually this is a no-go. i'm not gonna achieve this for sure so i guess i will change this to depend less on alcohol!!! ok to be honest i probably only started depending on alcohol say end of 2011? in my defence i didn't really DEPEND on it, i just liked it and it made it easier to fulfil my social obligations! anyway i resolute to be more of a natural socialiser and be less of a phony hiding under the influence of alcohol.

6. study harder.

this is always and forever on my list of resolutions and one categorised under the unachievable. i did try early this year (somewhat) but it was myopic and left quite instantly when i discovered my love for twitter. hahahahahaah. anyway i will try to be a better student i promise

7. be more street smart!!

this too is always on my list because i am bimbo in all things street hence i will try to go for street dance oh yea! but no, seriously, i should start taking responsibility for the more important things in life like insisting i plan me and bf's couple trips (assuming we are still gonna be together?) and i should probably also read more lawyerly stuff on the net, perhaps even subscribe to monthly lawyer magazines and i donno.. read them while i'm on the can or something :S

8. be less narcissistic.

ok to be honest every girl is narcissistic, it's just that some of us don't choose to reveal it to the whole wide world which makes it worse because that's just living as a closet narcissist and not being true to oneself. but yeah, i will try to be less vain and be more concerned about authentic welfare. ie, instead of looking good to feel good perhaps i should BE good to feel good

9. be more prayerful and love Jesus more :)

this is something i'm quite proud of because i've never let go of Jesus' hand through times of trial and tribulation but i could be more active in preaching the good news i guess (though i do believe frequent preaching can bring more harm than good) so i believe the best way is to be the best person i can be and protect His name always

10. lastly, i will aspire to be more decisive, more confident, and create clearer boundaries between good and evil. hahahah being more decisive will help me GREATLY considering how my indecision has made me flunk chem eng once and switched to law. being more confident will ALSO help me greatly because i've done self surveys and realised that my ability to perform is really truly greatly affected by confidence. and the boundaries between good and evil have always been somewhat elusive to me. i love making excuses for wrongdoings and calling them taking chances/risks/living life/anything cliche like that but i hope that year 2012 will give me greater discernment to leave behind all things frivolous which may lean on wrong, and be more concerned with things of pure righteousness and goodness.

oh OH last minute additions, i want to keep in touch with more of my friends :) and i also want to be more independent. yeah. and LEARN HOW TO DRIVE PROPERLY

ok that is all i can think of at the current time. and for the sake of tradition (and not for the sake of narcissism although arguably mr narcissist is aiding and abetting this crime), i shall plaster at the end of my entry a huge ass photo of me. like i said, it's tradition :)

thank you to my awesome readers for following me, especially those who did not disappear throughout the time i was D-ed. i love you all mwah mwah mwah thank you for loving me ^^

All my love, compassion, small eyes :P, sugar and spice,and everything i'm made of,

SJ