Birthday 21# Family + Birthday 9# JUNE BABIES

HELLO HELLO! back from KL and back from KK (where i chillaxed). i can't believe i still have readers when i'm ass at updating. thanks guys awwww huggles.

i have so many backlogged entries so i'm gonna start with my birthday! yay! i blogged about my celebration with matt 3 entries back if you wanna read that one. this one is with my family :)

my birthday cake! i like the small lace detail at the bottom !

i look really tired like i just got up from sleep lol. i think i WAS tired. this was sometime when i just got back from england

presents!

with the men of the house!!!! look at mike! ahahaha.

with mommy ! sis was in brunei at the time for some work conference boohoohoo. nobody played the happy birthday song! and i think while mom was singing, dad was in discussion with mike about something so like nobody sang and i had to force mark to sing AHAHHAHAHA

opening present!

Guess what mom and dad got me! Guess! i said Guess! i said Guess! Guess! sigh can i get any lamer honestly. it's Guess.

sis got me this :D it's white gold. and it's an "S" or an inverted treble clef, if you like. but not an & sign matthew. tsk tsk.

and mike and mark got this for me with their own money sniff. it's a simple makeup bag and i did use it for the trip. awww so touched they would use their own pocket money.

just posting these pics because i didn't post them earlier LOL and i'm wearing the same dress. i think this green dress has become my favourite dress :D even though it is very tight on fat days. but i love it! it's like a lovely green and it's cute and not slutty.

my manicure i got done at the parlour (first time EVAR). i do all my manicures DIY because i can do nice ones myself why should i waste $ right, i'd rather waste it on clothes. anyway this was a treat from sis YAYYY you should have seen hers. super nice !

moving on to mike's birthday! he's obsessed with angry birds now. we ordered the cake super last minute so this was the best we could find lol

mike is so cute without even trying to be honestly. i was thinking of him while in KK and i was thinking to myself how i MISS HIM!

oh yes, i stayed with my cousin in KL and he's just brought a cute little girl into the world named VERA after VERA WANG. she's super tiny and cute and sometimes when i go out shopping i will think of her at home and miss her :(

can you believe it. she's not even my kid and i already miss her. omg i'm a born mother lol.

mike and his presents

aww so sweet. brothers :)

with sis in it this time

i got him a bionicle and i knew he would've guessed it since the box shape gives it away so i decided to draw that bionicle drawing LOL

nice or not nice or not.

the AAAAH is supposed to be those violent sounds bionicles make (do they make violent sounds?) whatever... hahaha

anyway thanks family for always making us feel special on our birthdays and taking us out to dinners! and also for all the gifts of course :DDD

i don't know why i am usually not in the blogging mood these days. i guess i was just tired from work and after that i was relaxing without technology in kk. so that explains why.

i will blog more soon don't worry :D

enjoy your summer holidays evuhreebodeh and do take some time off technology to appreciate nature :)

TGIT

Really wanted to title this TGIF but i have a feeling i'll be out all day tomorrow. that's what i've been doing. leave for work at 7, work at 8.30 till 5, and go out with matt :D it's convenient that way too transport-wise. yes yes i am in KL did i not mention it already?! lol

anyway now i know why people completely detach from facebook and blogs and what-not when they start working. it is so darn tiring that all i ever want to do when i'm home is SLEEP. today is the first day i've come home from work at 5 (which ended up as 6.30) and not like 10/11pm which is roughly the time i get home after eating out/watching a movie.

But anyway, i'm not complaining. working in a law firm leaves you with feelings so disparate. i can't explain. sometimes it eats at your esteem and sometimes it gets so exhilarating that you cannot imagine a greater field.

i had a fantastic day today in particular. i can't say much in deference to client confidentiality but what i will say is that holding a life/lives in the palm of your hand can feel very overwhelming. i literally teared today, not because of my own pain for once LOL but because my heart went out to a client.

law is almost always regarded as a sneaky profession. it's easy to think that way because politicians are lawyers. and because lawyers send people to jail. and lawyers argue for a wrong cause by leaving out their client's wrongdoings and weaknesses, only focusing on their strengths.

but in a way this is what life as a whole is really all about. how often have we heard the cliche phrase of only looking at the good and not the bad, not to mention the world's increasing emphasis on optimism.

i know that at times it may seem like all you are trying to do is exploit someone else's weakness but from the people i have met, lawyers themselves, a fraction of them seem really genuine and do the best that they can to ensure justice is served to the broken-hearted. the poor. the forsaken. the company facing bankruptcy.

there is a lot of good that comes out of law and order. the laws we place on the earth are here to govern us and to regulate us. it has to be delivered to the public with heart and soul, with mind and being and it should not be seen to be a bad thing.

i know i can write a hundred blog entries about this but deep down inside i am actually very aware that the losing party may lose a lot even if they were never guilty to begin with. but as a future lawyer i guess i'm posing a question to myself. what can we really do as helpers of the oppressed, and as deliverers of the law, apart from hearing their story out and doing our absolute best to free them from injustice?

if we liberate them of their guilt had they been guilty without our knowledge we would in actual fact be giving them a second chance to rebuild their lives and to rethink their mistakes. because who are we really to judge a person's life having not known of the facts done in secret?

anyway this is getting kind of long and windy ahaahha so i'm just gonna talk more about the things i do. i get to go to court and listen to trials and i get to go to meetings with lawyers. it is pretty darn awesome even if it is a simple job. i love it. i have nothing bad to say really about the entire process (although i am aware that the legal system in malaysia is heavily influenced by politics and the executive) not that that may always be a bad thing, i guess.

i also get to do some corporate work. and trust me when i say that the most boring cases i come across have something to do with engineering AHAHAHAHA o.m.g how could i have ever been in that course, i DO NOT know :) but no offence. because like matt said "engineers are the people who make our lives more comfortable" (with reference to the SMART tunnel while we were driving through it that day)

overall i feel incredibly happy to know more about this profession and to gain the exposure that i need for a better future. also, i hereby solemnly swear (to myself) that i will read the newspaper/bbc/thestar as frequently as possible and not just read fashion and makeup blogs!

i once saw my future to be bright and wonderful (before my depression) but it all seemed to be unachievable because i felt held back by overwhelming emotion, disinterest in subject matter, simply non-adaptable to my surroundings. but now that it is all over i know that i will never get there if i do not TRY, if i do not have that driving force to fuel the journey to my dreams, and if i shy away from every opportunity.

it's funny how every job experience i have teaches me more about life and my thoughts rather than about the subject matter in question. i believe that everyone can get anywhere they want with confidence. and with a strong and beautiful heart.

and with a lawyer of course. didn't matt ever tell you? ;)

f-LAW-ed

So I maintained my upper second class average for year 1. i got the exact same average mark that i got for first semester.

although the perfectionist in me yearns and SCREAMS for a first class, i am happy indeed :)

i guess i'm more happy about the fact that i've accepted that studies is NOT everything. I enjoy basking in the westernized culture of how you should only study what you are interested in and you should love what you do and grow in doing what you love. because what is the use, really, of doing something you hate and getting flying colours? i feel so relieved that this useless weight of perfectionism has been taken off of me. of course it took some time for me to adjust to this. first time being in SPM when i got A2 for EST and BM cibai lol and then in ALevels getting a B for physics WTF. it just lessened my streak of straight A's one by one.

but of course i am AN ASIAN AHAHAHAHHA and i will fight to my death bed for a first.class.average *heaves with knitted eyebrows and slitted eyelids* (asian in me insists: i did get first class for some modules ok, just not for the average) ahahahaha. well honestly, i DID try to study harder for my second semester but halfway through i gave up lol. because changing my procrastinating ways was simply too hard to do and i gave up. but it was my best, i know it was. and i am super proud of that. i don't mind being flawed as long as i have LAW SCHOOL (see title lol)

well of course anyone would be proud of an upper second mark if they had gotten like a 20% in say, one of their maths exams in say, chemical engineering? just saying LOL

more importantly, these passing marks give me a strong sense of accomplishment, that i have grown to know where my passion lies and to trust my instincts in making life choices.

i've never studied law before and indeed reading PAGES AND PAGES of BIG FAT PLUMP JUICY books felt like hell but it was all worth it :) now i feel like a total bookworm and i totally earn the right to say "i'll sue you all!" to anyone who dares pick a fight with me :)

that phrase comes real handy with my lil bros, it totally cracks them up :)

to come to think of it, why do lawyers need to argue their way through anything since they already have this default phrase rendering them advantageous over non-lawyers? *chuckles*

thank you God for continually guiding me to maturity and wisdom. thank you parents for investing in my education as fickle minded as that journey might have been. thank you matty for never expecting anything out of me and for loving my 20% math mark.

and thank you sarah jane for believing in life enough to know that sometimes in this whirlwind of indecision, your voice counts because it is that very voice that will lead you to a happiness no one else could ever decide was yours to begin with.

cheers y'all! ima happy 1st year graduate!

one step closer to being like kate hudson in Bride Wars.

YES!