Dasher

Alamak alamak i am uber super fuber duber boober stressed ok!

chem paper 4 phy paper 4 on the same day and Im not prepared, im not prepared im not prepared X 8^37987074873sin3log12!

I keep having crazy nightmares, haven't been sleeping well at all =(

Anyway thanks pris and graciepoo for being so supportive.

Pris: My dear please don't panic, just take a deep breath and take it all in one at a time. You can get through this, you know right if its a bad phase now God will surely give you a good blossom. Don't black out on yourself now.

=) aww thanks pris, it's so nice of you to keep calming me down. I really appreciate it.

Gracie: If you panic just message me. I'll call and remind you of the days when i got 6 for sejarah and how you and lydia pee-d in the swimming pool :D

HAHAHA makes me wanna pee right here right now XD

Sekarang ketawa, nanti entahlah reaksi saya selepas ujian.

But thank you God, i'm really blessed with good friends :`) please help me get through this, and help me to stop panicking.

Anyway, baby joey dearest sweetiepie, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

Hope you had some erotic sex hahahahaha kidding. XD Just be yourself as you grow older cause there's lots in you ze sambalzszszsz love and cherish. mwah! (uber slobbery one)

Ok i gotta go study gotta go, .... my battery is low.... so you know.. im going to a place nearby... gotta go!

It's backstreet boys lah sheesh ok sorry so lame I know, gotta go.

An Array of Time

There is an appointed time for everything,
and a time for every affair under the heavens,
A time to be born, and a time to die,
a time to plant, and a time to uproot the plant,
A time to kill, and a time to heal,
a time to tear down, and a time to build,
A time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn, and a time to dance,
A time to scatter stones, and a time to gather them,
A time to embrace, and a time to be far from embraces,
A time to seek, and a time to lose,
a time to keep, and a time to cast away,
A time to rend, and a time to sew,
a time to be silent, and a time to speak,
A time to love, and a time to hate,
a time of war, and a time of peace.

Touched ='(

Dear Friend,

Not writing this because I should, but because I want too. I am not sure if you read my blog anymore. But I just wanted to know that you are not alone. You can sms me or call me at anytime even though it is at 5AM(like today) and I will reply you. I know advising is not really my thing. And I clearly do not have the insight, but I would like to thank you for letting me part of your troubles. I am glad, you feel better. And I hope you do. I know you must be tired, staying up the whole night studying. Yet, you stay so wide awake :) (if you get what I mean) I just hope you will be able to get through this. You need to start believeing in yourself that you can.

Be with someone who loves you more than anything in the world. Thinks of you as his world. Would do almost everything, but most importantly treat you right. Sometimes we should just love and not expect anything in return you know? But there surely is one person who feels something towards you. (who wouldn't? You're smart, pretty and fun!) You will find him, maybe not now. But soon.

Take care, and hope you slept well!

xoxo Pris

Pris, I cried. I cried after I read what you wrote. Made me feel very cared for. Thank you gurl. I really appreciate you being there in the wee hours of the morning when I was stressed, panicking and emotionally unstable.

Anyway if you guys want to know about my relationship problems, it's a secret. HEE. The problem attacked on the night before my computing exam and I didn't sleep the whole night, and almost fell asleep throughout the first half of my exam =/ well i called it upon myself anyway.

'You always want what you can't have.'

Cliche, but my definition of it isn't of the cliche.

Because I want it, and I can't have it. I wanted the wrong things, and I had them. I want the right things, and I have them.

Which is why after I've said goodbye to my baby/boyfriend, I come back ten times over but I never truly come back.

There had to be a reason I left, and if you loved me right enough, true enough, real enough, you'd do so much for me. You'd treat me right. You'd change the wrong things I want from you into the right things.

But if you don't, then that's all you'll ever be, my Archilles' heel. You'll have my loyalty as I promised, you'll feel the truth and you'll know how to separate the things I mean from the things that I don't. You'll be that constant person I come back out of care whom i claim to love, to blow the dust in your eyes each time, only to find more of it accumulate over you, more and more each time until there isn't any left I could blow away.

I'm sorry you have to be involved, but bear with me, because there will be an end one day. I haven't really gotten myself figured out, it's true. My previous end took place when I found you, but this time, the end will take place on a day when I love myself enough to find love in another, whom I can say I truly love, and mean it.

In the meantime, I will learn to love myself. No rebound guys, no new partner and no facades. I thank you for being a part of it. Nothing in life is what we sign up for, i was patient and refused minimally the things you've done to me even when I strongly opposed them, and now it's your turn. we get in it together, we get out together.

This is my perception of how to deal with it. Don't call me to talk if you're the only one who's going to be talking and won't be willing to hear what I have to say. Don't be selfish just because you've learnt to contain yourself better than I do.

I listen and learn from you, but it's time I have my voice. The same way I had one when I walked out. The same way I had one when I refused from the start. The same way I was concerned about our acts with relation to your religion. The same way I refused the wrong acts. If you had listened then, you wouldn't regret the things you currently regret. Where was your voice to complement mine towards righteousness?

But it's not the past we are concerned with.

Still, that voice was the right one. So listen to it. Because the only thing left to regret isn't losing you, it's losing my voice with you a second time.

Muzukashikatta

I travelled to KL city this morning to sit for a few tests for a Japanese government scholarship at the confucian private sec school. Maths, Phy, Chem, English and Japanese tests. Nice KLCC WHEE can see ar?

Wouldn't it be nice to study in japan *big anime eyes* *SIGH*

Well, I took this damn lightly cause when I entered the damned hall, there were 400 freaking applicants who got shortlisted and I almost walked out the hall whistling gaily releasing bursts of fart to all applicants HAHA.

In miri, 400 students don't even exist! HARHAR

Oklah 400 bright students don't even exist. Or maybe they do lar, in chunghua.

Anyways, I met a nice girl Shalini whom I went for lunch with. And I met mr ORLANDO BLOOM RAAM! Do you remember mr dreamy eyes? What a small world. He's still as handsome as ever lar.

I sat in front of this cool chick who looks like jayme. Jayme do you by any chance have a twin wtf.

She went on about how chinese-educated people surrounded the whole hall with their thick specs, reading material and a past where their mommas cane them for say getting 99.9% instead of a 100%.

Lol not to stereotype or anything but thats what she said! Not me ah! I have chinese-educated friends and some are as lazy as me. But there is some truth to it though, that chinese are generally more concerned about excellence.

But i said 'hard work is a good attribute.'

Cauhai why I suddenly become so mulia ah.

And I said 'maybe this japanese scholarship is meant for them'.

Cauhai why I suddenly become so self-sacrificial ah.

Nah just a lame picture to commemorate the day.


Anyway, math and phy were damn bloody tough. Sucked so bad i really tembaked almost everything for physics. As for math, I filled up most of em with random numbers like err '2' or '3' or '1' or hmm 8 is a nice number, '8' lah. XD

Those papers were sooooo uber tough ok, are you kidding me, completely out of the a-levels syllabus, somemore we were given 1 hour for each subject.

Hmm but I love japanese people and I love the language! Japanese people are so cute and friendly and wonderful. :) They are really cute i tell you, they are really like Hiro from Heroes. Really! Cute with high libido wtf.

Chem was ok. And English was damn senang lar can close one eye and do.

And then the cool chick Ms Jayme (HEHE) and I made a pact for the Japanese language exam. Cause actually students who have no former japanese knowledge do not have to sit for the jap exam. But since they mentioned that students who score in that would have added advantage...

Ms Jayme and I tembaked the whole paper without reading and cabut. HARHARHAR.She tembaked like in 5 seconds while I took 10. tembak also must have skill one ok! must have good fengshui good air good yingyang good confucius on our side babeh.

So funny arr both of us.

Eh who knows correct lar. XD

Anyway, she said its the first and last time she's ever gonna waste her time doing something so lame like compete among 400-1 geniuses. (1=sarah jane)

Well said babe. Well said.

Only 20 will be shortlisted for interview. And who knows how many will get the scholarship. 4 maybe? I dunno.

If I get this scholarship, it would be a nice miracle. Say your prayers everyone!

Oh yea, but i saw this one girl who had bags under her eyes. They weren't even grey, they were kinda red. It looked like she hadn't slept for days and I told orlandobloomRaam to check her out and he agreed that she was probably in bad condition.

Made me feel so sad for her ler. I told him i wanted to hug her and he laughed at me =/ when she saw me looking, she tried to cover her face with her hair. please pray she gets the scholarship too! Heck, she may need it more than anyone :(

Farewail

VINCIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII~ DON'T GOOOOOOOOO!

My dear vinci, you will always be remembered for all the things you've done for me :( I shall always remember how you don't treat me like the senior of the house cause I'm as childish as ever and i like to be equal with you guys! I will remember how you always teach me general knowledge like H1N1 and how to climb a tree . And the times we went swimming together too!

And i will always remember you for turning on that cute music while I played Harry and he danced for like a minute or so.

I will always remember your drawings (in pencil) which you secretly drew on my notes while I was in my room heaving with stress, I will cherish it forever! I will always remember how you do cheerleading to "YOU! CAN! DO! IT!" when i'm stressed with studies and with life :(

Yar i always write chinese words on my notes like....

this one..


and this one.. i wonder if max my 'notes-borrower' laughs each time he reads my notes cause i always translate stuff to chinese like for example "it dissolves in 水" or "我不明白吃大便" wtf



But vinci, remember my drawings too! HEHEHEHE



this is a buah nona. Cause vinci was there when I picked it out when I wanted to be adventurous and try it out. Sucks btw.

Vinci! I...

YOU!!!!

This is a piece of bread which I offered her to eat one day.

Will miss you tons! ! ! Good luck in your IPTS thingie thing and I hope we will see each other again soon ok! *sobs* Thank you for everything.

Kantoi (i think this is a sarawak term)

Oh hai mummy.

You found my site *shivers*

HAHAHAHA

Nevermindlah, knock yourself out. Nothing much to hide anymore :)

Probably gonna have to lessen the cusses. but i don't think you understand some of my hidden cusses, ccb mcb wth wtf? EHEHEHEHE *sneaky as ive always been*

Love you!

All my people on the floor

I. screwed. up.

I don't like physics. And I'm becoming an engineer.

Wonderful.

Whatever, who cares. NEXT!

I went for lunch today with Pris at Pizza Hut and Britney's Me Against The Music was playing on the radio! OMG! Memories!

Dearies do you remember! (Gracie, Belle, Joan). We danced to the song on stage during the StJoe Concert. A proper choreographed dance! Was it Form2? Do you remember the fun times we had? Do you remember 'Dragonball', 'mountain', 'WHIP!' (dance moves) Do you remember how sexy we were in formal collared tops and tight pants!

HEHEHE nostalgia nostalgia.

Yeo Hui Xin, if you are by any chance reading this, do you have the video of our dance? Or do you know where to get it? I'd love to watch it again! MAN! IM SO EXCITED ARRRGH! *beats breast*

Exbf1 said it sucked. Hence the reason we broke up, baby you don't love my dance=you don't love me=goodbye HAHAHA NOLAH KIDDING. exbf2 compared us to siuje cinabeng dance(girly chinese dance) and couldn't decide which was better. Duh ours of course since i was init! And exbf3 err.. doesn't know about my sexy past wtf he knows me for the nice angel who helps old ladies cross the road XD

Exhausted Leg

Today, the blurness in me decided to surface again. It has been skiing down a continuous slope high-fiving its myriad occurences shrieking 'attack sarah jane!' This time, it decided to solidify, sinking into my skin, to mark its ability of variant existence. *huffs*

Hence, the semi-circle mark on my leg with end to end diameter 10cm, area 39.2699cm^2 (4dp) round off 39.3cm^2(3sf).

Caused by a blur/sohai sarahjane not looking where she was going and simply choosing to walk the narrow alley rather than the large one.

I think my mind was either playing some mind game reverse psychology crap on me, or my masochism is rebuilding and calling for release.

Opting to tread the smaller path to torment resulted in a severe battle with an object of extreme monstrosity, being a motorcycle exhaust pipe, culminating searing pain within my system with thermal heat aplenty.

Taking several minutes of water flushing through pores to achieve thermal equilibrium, gestated evil continued to take approximately half an hour to produce an elastic pressable boil/blister.

Which now leaves me yearning for the time said semi-circle burnt mark receives adequate natural vitamin E from platelets for dire skin regeneration. Fingers crossed for no scarring!

But, in the meantime, blurness attacked doubly with 1st order rate of reaction!

Causing me to accidentally scratch my burnt mark by a chair to which I almost died T_T

Loving the what?

One good thing about having a level-headed ex-boyfriend is the fact that.. he is level-headed wtf.

Hence his head does not get thoroughly drowned within my artistry which seems to drown my own head.

Emotional dependence CHECK. Lust CHECK. Physical Companionship CHECK. Love to cuddle CHECK.

True Love QUIVERY CHECK WITH FLUCTUATIONS WHERE THE INK FROM THE PEN RUNS OUT HALFWAY.

I remember the time this guy who barely knew me told me he loved me, I threw a huge ass bitch fit and off he went to his corner to get down to work writing 'I will not say I love when I have not' a gazillion times. (ok he didn't actually do this lar, but there was equal punishment)

Perhaps it's time I do so myself.

I always think that having relationships helps instill good values, helps you change with your significant other for the better, helps expose you to the deeper side of life, helps you to grow individually with your other half to support you. (besides giving you someone to anticipate and to have warm kiss-kiss time with wtf)

But I've never done any of the above whole-heartedly for anyone i've dated. I've never really had the ultimate willingness to sacrifice. I want a baby so badly though(not now la next time), but do I see myself making one with anyone I've dated? Maybe I picture the process of it, haaahaaaa eh PICTURE only ah. Maybe I've seen potential father figures. But just not my baby whom is beautifully and intricately made through the sacred act of two beings coming together with such genuine purity and love. Just not a future of bliss and happiness.

Yes, you may think it's absurd to think so far ahead but I am just this way. I don't see the point of starting things you have no intention of prolonging. You may start off in naivety and mere hopes for the best but you just don't start off with the roots of certainty that you're headed for a dead end.

I have just not met someone I am certain I want to stay loving when we've both travelled up to the peak of the mountain and realise we're back at the bottom when that avalanche of peril hits us as it does everyone.

Have I loved?

Maybe I have merely loved the love, but not loved the person.

I haven't even made my strong signature imprint on the earth under my feet, I haven't even loved myself completely. I haven't even fully learned my dignity, my self-worth. I'm slow at this. I'm slow at growing up and out of whimsical illusions.

Chances are, if I have ever loved, I would've drifted away into foreign arms thinking it was happiness, leaving my already unstable individual self to rot and stop growing.

Which is not the way anyone is supposed to live at all, really. And not how any solid relationship is supposed to be at all, really.

And if any of you has ever really loved me, you'd know me well enough to agree. Thank you my level-headed ex-boyfriend.

TGIT

Thank God it's Thursday!

The cleaners came this morning, as they do every Thursday to clear off the piles of rubbish in our abode that overflowed the bins. Gosh, the stench was starting to diffuse and build funky residences in the spots of my nostrils. Especially the mangoes. URK. why are my housemates and I such lazy asses! Big ass dustbin is just downstairs and yet we overpile the trash in the kitchen!

Another 'sohai' thing I did-I broke the flush. SWT SORRY VINCI SORRY TIFFANY.

I woke up one morning forgetting we haven't been having water lately and kept twisting the flush in sheer incredulity and ultimate blurness wondering why the water was being so stubborn. Kept going with the handle, till it got overtwisted. Came back home during break to open the lid, put on my thinking cap, and tried to fix the damned thing.

And I was the perfect tikus membaiki-ing the perfect labu.

I had it fixed by twisting those rusted metals around and after testing it, it worked like a charm for like 3 times, till I tried the last time exerting the force provoked by my pride and joy and TADAA THE ENTIRE FLUSH HANDLE CAME OFF. Friction you didn't do your job mcb.

Sarah jane 1, friction 0.

Oh sarah jane, you are so awesome, your strength prevails wondrously!

Ros said i was so cute when i was blur (HEHEH INDEEDYDOO) but being cute with ultimate giganticum strength ruins every single part/definition of cute.

Anyway, Im happysappy about my previous post, because I seemed to have my words fit exactly to what I was feeling. I thought I had lost the artistry. It just took some emotional turmoil, dont call me emo! or I'll write a drastic one about you, emo-caller.

Lost quite a bit of weight though. The ex-gal shorts that fit perfectly last year can't stay on me without the aid of a belt. And my black striped shorts are loose as well. I find myself eating less and sleeping more =/

Crossaint I'm coming for youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu~ i must eat jooooooooo.......

Clue to nowhere

Could this last bit of me be the piece yearning for disposal?

I am the last gleaming strand of hair held ever so close in those rubber gloves that shield a sweaty and anxious palm of a forensic expert. I am the last clue in the game of clue-do, the last number in a code to crack, the last guessing game you have the slightest beaming clue of, the stepping stone leading further to a palace of inexplicable greatness. A greatness you've painted with your thoughts a day when you saw enough of tiredness and sorrow. You are so close. Closer beyond compare. You are the closest.

I am on the contrary, the darkest spot in that beating heart containing the saddest, most hurtful platform of mischief and depth you have ever found yourself inside of. You are the closest.

But you fall. You fall away. You fall into the coldest, odd-labeled abyss out of my vision of sight. You find the most comforting virtuality in the midst of yourself, in the beginning of nothing, the landfills engulfed by the stench of safety, the floor of that old house of step one of a baby's walk.

I am still constantly here.

But I've flown, out of the realms and symmetry of the forensic expert's hand, and into the sea sheltered by an azure sky of infinite possibilities. I've trembled out of equivocals, and freed myself into the air of benevolence. I've dived into those crashing waves and found a bittersweet hope where tunes of laughter ring with purpose and future. I stopped sporadically to swim the melodies of your heart even when the majors had turned into eerie diminished chords. Rhythmically inclined, the song went on but with you as the obstacle to continuity.

Find me within the creeks of your heart, once travelled beyond a traveller's definition, beyond your courage of the courage of letting go. Search deeper within, deeper into the soul that carries a truth you've enclosed with golden wrap paper reflecting intrusively that inner yearning to venture out of the protocols of wrongful livings. Find me, or lose me.

Flung into foreign arms

Yesterday we celebrated Anwin's birthday at Cineleisure/the curve/one u.

Birthday boy! Hope you had a great one yeah!

We also went to catch the movie "the uninvited" and once again, leave it to them guys to trick us into believing they had gotten us "Star Trek" tickets instead!

Pris shuwen and i were kinda err, "whoa? omg omg omg can we not watch" when we first entered the cinema but we stayed anyway! it's a really psycho show and err i couldn't sleep well last night and kept overthinking, especially when I looked at the window opposite my bed. Swt. Chills to the ultimate max.

Actually there was a jap horror movie that was just like this one, thanks to the many horror flicks i've been compelled to watch with belle and the gang, with me covering my eyes with popcorn and chongyew sitting next to me describing every single scene while it was going on. But i forgot the title. Same plot. The person who was haunted into believing ghosts commited murders was actually the person who commited the murders.

Anyway!

I did something real funny yesterday while shuwen and i were on the way to the toilet.

The bathroom was behind this door that opens both ways, and the door was slowly closing so being my usual "pat/sohai" self, I ran super duper uber fast so that I'd be in time to push the door open before it closes. In wedged heels somemore. Then just before I was about to push the door open with all my force and might, the door suddenly opened from behind and oh inertia, you kept me going didn't you, and so I flung into the arms of........

a man. zomg! young guy lah, not old (thank God), somewhere around mid twenties.You know those tags where questions ask "have you kissed a stranger before" yadayada, why today I've got a "yes" answer to "have you fallen into the arms of a stranger!"

But he was a kind soul, judging from my impression of him. He wore an adorable chef hat and apologised right away with no sign of malicious pleasure. He did wear a puny smile and it was really cute and funny! And those strong arms, steadied my figure in such an easy manner. arms, slurps armmmms.

Shuwen said i was on the verge of hugging him and she kept laughing!!

Perhaps it's time I live a more civilised life wtf. No more sprinting to catch up with the speed of doors sarah jane or who knows the tom dick and harry you'd run into! eh but if handsome with hard rock arms and six packs nevermindlah hahahahahahahahahah thank you my hero *bats eyelashes* WTF

You know you've loved

The second time I was to fly to KL last year, you hugged me close in the airport as your eyes filled. The tears that came from your eyes were for me, because you could not bear to see me walk into the life I had told you about, the life I had not gotten used to, the life I dreaded.

You planted a kiss on my cheek and you wore a strong look on the exterior as though to encourage me to go for it, to ensure me that I would get through it. But the tears from your eyes showed me how you feared for me, how you didn't want it any more than I did.

And the sadness I saw in you was what made me stronger. Because you, the person I love so much ought not to endure such sadness after all that you've done and after all the support you've given.

You know you've loved when you fight your own pain so the person you love wouldn't have to hurt.

I love you mummy. Happy mother's day.

I'll be damned

What are you made of?

For countless of times, i've been shoved with responsibility and tasks to be fulfilled. I've had opportunity after opportunity.

For countless of times, I've taken them gracefully and have been proud of them, but did I live up to my duties? No.

I hid from everything that came with it. I curbed my duty, I happily took my rest, I kvetched upon every petty detail. I whined and whined all day and said, why me, why me. I sat there in that stupid corner doing nothing but whimper my days away.

Why did these opportunities appear for me? Because they whom had power believed in me.

Why do I resist the training offered to me for free? Why do i shy away from the great things others have persistently encouraged me to pursue?

People spend their lives trying to prove themselves to others to be great so that they may have one simple chance.

I have done the exact opposite. Today is the day I say no more.

The Legend Behind Finance Workshop 2003

I was recalling the past and thought it'd be fun to share this with everyone :)

In the end of the year 2003, I attended the Finance Workshop in Holiday Inn(currently ParkCity Everly) with Joan and two of our senior guys (whom shall not be named, you will see why later).

It was a 1 week plus stay in Holiday Inn and the 4 of us were selected by our school because we were going to be the so-called future leaders to start a Finance Club in our school woohoo!

The workshop was pretty delightful. I remember us being divided into groups and we worked together carrying out presentations and designing logos and all that shit lah, seems kinda really boring now to me. I hit if off right away with my groupmates! If you knew me from form1-form5, you'd know I was a social butterfly!

I remember my group being not that great but we had so much fun! I somehow remember joan presenting up front about some figures and I remember her saying a lot of "and then" amongst BM words hahaha and I remember her saying, "tahun ini, jumlah meningkat kerana bank lucky ma" HAHAHA hey we were in form 1 ok. XD

Anyway here comes the fun part JENGJENGJENG

The two senior guys who came with us were always visiting joan and I in our room. They always came to talk at night and we would hang out. ONE UNFINE DAY, they chose the most impeccable timing to come!

It was after joan had taken her bath, and I was headed for the shower. After turning on the water nozzle and being naked in the bathroom though not immersed in water yet, one of the guys decided to try his STUPID COIN TRICK.

YUP! He took a coin and tried to unlock the bathroom door.

To his utter pride/egoism, IT WORKED KNNMCB! *saying with anger even after 5 years have passed*

I remember hearing them talk about the trick and one of the guys saying something like, "im just going to twist it, *CLICK door opens* and yup, it works" WTF KNNMCB i was fuming and to aggravate things, joan was laughing her head off like a horse! They didn't push the door open or anything, they just let it creak open slowly.

I was so conservative at that time (not that i am not now heheh) so I screamed, sat down in the bathtub and closed the shower curtains JUST IN TIME SARAH JANE YOUR REFLEX DAMN POWER phew. I couldn't even cover my body directly because I placed my towel on the far edge of the sink and if I were to reach out of the shower curtains, I'd be the victim of eyecandy to two senior guys who were still in that age where they were so sakai to see nipples (albeit small and undeveloped, i was in form1 ok) and a pussy and too chickenshit to have girlfriends to satisfy their needs for.... the motherlode.

Anyway, I stayed in the bathtub fuming helplessly for like 5 minutes till joan snapped out of her laughter and closed the door.

Wah, after that I was damn mad. And joan's name is joan lee sia tan, but some people used to call her joan lee syaitan and at that time, I thought it fit her perfectly!
(but not anymore sweetie, i love you hahaha)

I was supermad at joan but wasn't that mad at the guys cause it wasn't their fault, it was their hormones and their stupid penis wtf, stupid organ that clouds a good conscience. ok i take that back, not stupid, good penis, good good. *thinking about reproduction* we should always see the good in organs hahahah

But after that, joan and I had some jumping-on-the-bed fun time with afiqah and janice(2 girls from chunghua). We even tried to stand at the edge of the bed and free fall down without our butts landing first. Only joan and I managed after we kept at it for countless of times while afiqah and janice didn't dare to try, STJOE BOLEH! And all was good and happy and I fell asleep a happy girl with a nice unseen sexy body hahahahaha

Btw joan and I are all good now, i am too forgiving hahaha, besides she made my life thrilling and exciting, eh thank you joan, you really put my reflex skills to the test WTF.

Ok that's all, the end.

Epilogue

Btw, we did start the finance club but it was as dead as Adolf Hitler. And the only news about the club was the news about me and how I was ALMOST exposed to the eyes of two senior wankers. *curses* I swear the legend is better than Adolf Hitler's don't you agree? HAHAHA they should make a movie about this, Valkyrie part II and i want zooey deschanel to act my part! LOL

Oh ya one of the guys confessed that he had a thing for me sometime later, to which I rejected. And the other guy confessed sometime later too, but i never responded and one day he said he was kidding about it, and i was like whatever because it's up to him to waste his life kidding about these things, none of my business anyway, just shows i was worth it.

Hey and if both you guys are by any chance reading this, no hard feelings :) you were silly yes you were but we were all young and curious anyway. aiya to save your reputation, one of them grew up an intelligent person who's helped me a lot in life and is now in aus, and another grew up to date my best friend (lol?) but they broke up. They're both fully grown and matured now and are reputable human beings.

Those kiddy days were really so funny :D

I know some of you have different views to this and are horrified, as I was (i was the victim ok!) but there's no use holding grudges or being sour.

Hey if anyone has gone through shitty moments in your past you'd like to share, feel free to comment! It'd be nice to know i'm not the only one XD

Woe Is Me Fa So La Ti Do

I haven't been ok :(

I can't be left alone, i'm lazy and unproductive! I'm a thinker. I used to have it worse, but it's still bad now =/ Don't leave me alonnnnne *clings onto housemate's legs*

I woke up at 12pm today instead of 8am. I dreamt of band. I dreamt grace took a video of band members in the wilderness wtf but it was a really good video with slow motions and the sun glaring upon us. and i remember bel telling me to remember the shacko visual.

I kept waking up at intervals, kept torturing myself by dragging my ass out of bed but then feeling really alone and upset since my housemates were all at college, which resulted me to strip and cuddle deeper under my blankie. I like taking my clothes off in bed cause it's much cosier.

Cosy. did i tell you about the time I played interschool scrabble and had the highest score 300 plus! But the results showed 200 plus in the end, and you know why?!?! I had spelt cosy "cozy" and it dropped my position from champion to bronze because the "z" had hit some double letter score and the entire word had hit a triple word score! And cozy is the american spelling so they couldn't accept it. sucks. Never ever spelt cosy "cozy" again after that.

Had lunch with ros. We talked about the 2.50am incident in their room, about how lintany sleeptalked to ridima asking if her(lintany's) brother had slept. Ridima was freaking out and replied 'what?' to each question lintany asked, while ros was having a dream that she was mute and couldn't talk and struggled in bed, which freaked ridima out even more. After ros woke up from her dream due to ridima shaking her up, ros was thinking about lintany's brother being ridima's boyfriend all night hahaha so funny. sleeptalkers. I wonder whether I sleeptalk.

I remember waking up one day with my head on the bed and my ass seated on the floor though. Queer.

I've been having a lot of thoughts of the past lately, they're difficult to bear *Cringe*

The dead bird on the porch is gone. I think chumpy ate him! Chumpy meows so nastily whenever I take away food and he won't let me enter my unit. Atrocious chumpy! Chumpy ate the stinkin dead bird ewww chumpy has bad breath chumpy is fat and smelly.. This is how i talk to cats =D

Tutor treated me to dinner tonight and after that we had cendol in front of his car! nyamnyam oklah i had cendol and he had one spoonful, and he saw a pimple on my neck wtf who the hell looks at peoples neck la you tell me! and the first thing he asked at dinner was whether i had washed my hair cause he was concerned as to where we were seated for fear that my hair will get dirty by the air lol a true ladies man, thats what you get from growing up with 2 pretty sisters.

Fuhlamak, spent the day watching youtube videos and MDG woe is me woeeeeee izzzzzz miiiiiiiiiii.... gorengggggg.

tomorrow it may change

but today, I :

- woke up to an alarm and went back to sleep

- woke up at intervals feeling bad from sleeping because I had applied for study leave and there was a reason for all that class skipping and sleeping all day should not be one of it

- brushed teeth, washed up, ate a rice biscuit, hung up the clothes, went to read on vectors

- went to bed and lay there

- dozed off

- woke up at 11.50, remembered about max at the guardhouse

- rushed to the guardhouse, collected shuwens notes from pris at the other guardhouse, learned shakirah hadn't come to school and glanced at the kurung in my hand for returning

- walked into college, saw the guy from the simedarby interview, shared a knowing smile, though his was hesitant and came after the familiarity awoke him

- do i look that much different with a tshirt and tiny shorts on compared to a kurung?

- how'd it go for you, i wonder, but i didn't ask

- went to sit at the benches waiting for max

- max approached all of a sudden laughing and asking me why i was staring at a girl

- i said her skirt looked funny

- he passed me my notes, talked a bit

- he looked handsome without his specs, he left

- remembered jion asking me if id like to go to the prom with max

- wondered if it was for real

- went across the road to photocopy shuwen's notes

- went two shops to the right to check out answer schemes prices

- typed it in my phone so i could sell my old books for half price

- man at counter told me to write on paper

- traditional side of me voiced out love for old ways but i answered, save the trees

- went to collect photostated papers

- man at counter asked when i would be going back to sabah

- he picked up my weird un-semenanjunglike bm accent before

- i said sarawak and said in june, selamanya

- he laughed

- went up the library to shuwen, placed shakirah's kurung and my notes in the locker

- paid shuwen 8bucks, got scared off by tutor because he seemed so focused on studies

- walked back home, took away food in a package

- walked up the stairs and saw a dead bird

- reached my unit and said out loud, 'fck my life, fck my asshole', had forgotten about shakirahs kurung in the locker

- went all the way back to library, walked over to locker number 136, grabbed the bag

- on the way down the stairs, a guy's file poked my eyebrow

- said 'ow' in pain

- told self, thats what you get for being short

- walked all the way back to my unit

- inhaled deeply for 5 seconds

- covered my eyes with notes from the view of the dead bird, rushed up the stairs

- reached my room, ate a pau, lost my apetite

- climbed into bed

- dreamt 4 dreams, all consisting of different people in my life

- hugged the adidas shirt close and said baby about 10 times

- woke up to gastric and hearing vinci outside on the table

- got worried cause i left the outside light on

- need to save energy

- walked outside to which vinci asked if i was ok

- i seemed to not be ok

- i said yea and heard vinci talk to ros about test results

- went to boil water

- remembered slipknot vermillion pt 2's bridge

- hummed john denver's leaving on a jet plane

- don't know when i'll be back again. oh babe. i hate to go.

- went into room, shut the door.

- blogged with weary eyes

- entitled the post with a line from avril's song i told grace was lame about 4 years ago

- it's 3.30pm.

the end.

Cradle under me

Guess where I was seated so comfortably =)

UP ON A TREE! WHOOPEE! edited this pic cause it was too dark, sorry la i don't know how to edit i just clicked "Auto Adjust" tadaa! looks like i'm up on the tree so that i don't fall into that pile of errr shit. XD

This is the same pic, only i clicked "Auto Brightness" instead. HAH genius =D looks better, looks like I'm sitting on the tree above the sea with the yellow sunset light reflecting off the waters :) or it could look like a pile of err diarrhoea shit WTF all the more reason to stay up and never come down.

Vinci up on the tree too!!!

Us climbing the tree was like the most spontaneous thing evarr, which is why i didn't have my camera with me(used phone for pics). We went for our climbing straight after dinner because she doesn't have her appendix anymore whilst mine is err.. a superappendix! woohoo!

Besides what are trees for right, if not for climbing, err besides logging, timber, habitats of flora(crawling plants, parasites) and fauna, paper production, source of oxygen supply and preventing landslides. hmm ok that's a lot. jikalau anda ada isi tambahan sila komen apaituseks [if you have extra points please comment wtf] HAHAHA GEDDIT! don't tell me you don't get it!

Me again, there were pics of us standing up but i'm lazy to edit them even though my definition of editing is clicking one pathetic button, or two.

Sorry vinci, not many pics of you. Cause she was the pro-tree climber and she took all the pics while I was too chicken shit trying to balance myself on branches.

And then i didn't dare to come down. Now i know why cats get stuck. Need bomba to get them down. Where is my bomba!!?

Vinci got down first, and she instructed me on how to do it:


Vinci : You just put your hands around that branch and let the momentum work on you first, swing around a little.

Sarah : WHAT IF I CRASH INTO THE BIG TRUNK

Vinci : Move like a sloth! like a sloth!

Sarah : I'm not as graceful as a sloth!

Vinci : Come on we don't have all day

Sarah : *looks at guys walking nearby* Ask them to come here to carry me down!

Vinci : NO! you must do it on your own, you can you can!

Sarah : *looks at one guy* EXCUSE ME!

Guy : *glances and ignores*

Sarah : *FUCK YOU* (in my heart)

Vinci : you can do it!

Sarah : i can, i know i can. i can! *swings onto a branch and barely swung ok, just dropped straightaway onto the soil* ouch sakitnye! *bruised*

Vinci : yay!!

Sarah : Eh, is there any other way to come down ar? Easier one! how about we position our legs onto the trunk lar, hoist ourselves down.

Vinci : OK! *climbs up and slinks self around branch and hoists down like a true professional*

Sarah : EE SO COOL I WANT TRY

Vinci : OK OK!

Sarah : *climbs up* oh nooo how did you do it again!

Vinci : I looped one leg over the branch! I think.

Sarah : YOU THINK! One leg or both legs!

Vinci : both, it's like you're halfway up and halfway down due the gravity and hold on to that branch ok!

Sarah : wah so pro in physics, got momentum and gravity somemore p=mv, w=mg g=9.81 wtf

Vinci : come on!

Sarah : CANNOT IM SCARED what if i can't loop for so long, i'll fall head first and DIE!

Vinci : No you won't, your arms arent that weak ok! ONE, TWO....

Sarah : No! don't pressure me!

Vinci : =.="

Sarah : *loops around and hoists self down like a true professional!*

*BIG GRIN*


See I am flexible i just lack courage ok!

Fun fun. Result of the day : 3 small bruises on my legs, painful palms, ants crawling up my ear and half a dozen mosquito bites. But fun (:

Try it at home! aiya i know it's a piece of cake for guys cause guys have bulging muscles (yummy yummy slurps) so don't insult girls ok! we're softer and more tender. but capable nontheless! HAH you guys only have one aspect, strength. we have it all, softness and strength (says the girl who almost screamed for the guard to get me down, so much for feminism) XD